LY

For PF only
2002-01-10 08:23:24 (UTC)

When will I recover? Or, will I?

I have no idea what have been going on in my mind. I don't
know why I have lost too much confidence on myself. Did I
really perform so badly that even I myself would lose
almostly all confidence and wouldn't trust myself anymore?
What have I done to myself which have made myself so angry
and would never forgive myself again? What's wrong?

These days, I get lost, I have lost contact to myself.
Myself is another stranger to me recently, I don't know him
well. I don't know what he will do next, I don't know why
he will do this and that suddenly.

It seems that I have lost my most important friend -
myself. Where can I find him again?

Life goes on, I can't wait. Seems that even such great
problem have existed for a long time, I didn't have a
second to deal with it. The world is too busy and my steps
couldn't catch up, I could feel that. Somehow, I am very
uncomfortable about that.

I have fell into a gap of life, where is in-between my
failure and success. My emotion is so unstable and my
values, my thoughts are shaking. I am afraid, I admit. I
have too much concern about all things, I am nervous. Feel
like I am unable to pass through all the failures. I am
too serious about all things.

So hard to keep on, but even hard to give up.

I am lost.

10 Jan 2002, 4.23pm




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