The Life & Times of Alison
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2002-01-10 04:54:18 (UTC)

A sense of normalcy...

Thats really what I want, a NORMAL life. Even a life that
is 'normal' for me will work. This whole school year has
been full of crazy shit, and its not good. Last semester
sucked, and I sometimes wonder how I got through it at
all... without going crazy, or killing someone! I went up
to Clarion today, and just being in the house felt good in
a way... just because that house has been a solid object in
my life for three years, always different- sometimes I hate
it, sometimes I love it... but its always been there. The
same with this house here... my parents house. Which at the
end of this month wlll cease to be... it will be my dads...
and then when he defaults on the mortgage... it wont be
anyones. Ive lived here my whole life. :( Plus, I have no
home after all of that since the place my mom got with my
sister has two rooms... and neither of them want to share.
They say I can have a futon when I come home... OOOH THANKS
GUYS, THATS SUPER GREAT! UGh... anyway... and the fact that
I am 21 years old and my parents are getting a divorce...
whats that?! I mean, parents get divorced when their kids
are young, not when theyre 21! I guess what I have to do is
enjoy my last fleeting moments here at the old house...
before its not mine anymore. Im just so sick of the way my
life has been going, and getting relatively no support from
key people in my life is just great. It seems that all
people care about is money, weather or not they get their
money, and I guess thats the way the world is now. People
just dont care anymore... no one realizes that people have
other lives, and other things that are more important that
money, times, places... etc... things like family,
friendships, living... getting out and doing something to
better ones self and the world... now those are things that
people should go for... not money. I mean, I can care less
if I have it or not. I would prefer to have it... but if
for some reason... I didnt get the money I needed... I
wouldnt go crazy... I would find out why I wasnt getting
it... and then go from there. There are deeper reasons for
many things in life. You've just got to search for them.

Okay, done with that rant, on to the next: I guess I am
glad to go back to school, and to be in a routine again...
class... meetings... etc. I need to get a job on campus to
fill my monday wed friday voids... well.. maybe not fri...
cos I like my long weekend... Ooh yes, and now more than
ever I need to have a NICE place to live next year...
ugh... well I am going to go cos this is long enough.

sometimes life is completely shitty... but ya gotta
look on the bright side... finding it is the first step.

Luv ya-