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2002-01-09 20:43:06 (UTC)

The Key To My Heart

Matt thinks I should see the
school counseller. Maybe he is right because I am so
depressed. Every little thing makes me angry. I hate my
whole family. I hate my friends. I hate this sess-pool I
live in. I feel so worthless and I just don't give a fuck
really about anything. Me and my family had a massive
arguement last night. I broke knuckle again laying
shit into my 16 year old sister. She is such a slag and
thinks she is better than everyone else. I am 17 years old
and we go out at weekends together and all sorts but I am
really sick of the sight of her. The way she dresses, acts,
walks, talks etc etc pisses me off to the max. Everyone
knows who we are in our area and its nice to be popular but
if only they knew how I felt deep down. I really don't
think I can tolerate much more of this. My sister sleeps
around and is doing shit in school yet my parents still
treat her like an angel. Yeh, I have slept with a fair few
people but not one after another, every weekend. I am in
school still doing a-levels because my parents wanted me to
and they still treat me as the rebellious devil child. Fair
enough, I do have a nasty nature but I wear the halo more
than my sister. It pisses me off. She is just a wannabe. I
find comfort in taking drugs, so my sis thought she'd be
cool and do ecstasy aswell. She is a muppet because to be
honest, that fucking shit has done me no favours at all.
I hate that girl as though she was my worst enemy, not
my sister. Another thing that has pissed me off is that
I can't get on to my usual online diary. I have my daily
one at teenopendiary.com but the server isn't working so I
haven't been able to write in it for days ... its really
starting to get to me. If you want to check it out then
search for kacii and my diary is called black coffee. Well
I am going now, I am too angry with the world to continue.
Peaches xx

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