at the heart of it all
dont you hate those boring soap-opera/ space-filling-movie-
dialogue style voices that run through your head when
you're on auto-pilot? i cant stand them sometimes.. i bore
myself into semiunconsciousness. im glad i can listen to
music now im not at work. im listening to tool but i want
to listen to sublime, its just that in this mood it always
feels like the music is taking the piss, y'know? like its
rubbing it in?
i could really do with a smoke but im not allowed in my
parents house and its freezing outside. ive only just
stopped shivering. at least the boring movie dialogue in my
head has subsided for now. thank fuck for that. its hell at
night... like being forced to watch the middle hour of a
woody allen film over and over again.
my scars on my arm are starting to itch and hurt again..
how annoying. yes, im the goth cliche guy who used to cut
himself.. how passe and nu-metal is that? ugh.. i hate all
those shitty papa roach, amen and limp bizkit bands...
but yes.. i used to cut, i havent for nearly 2 years but
these scars are protruding messes that keep hurting when it
gets cold.. i think i messed a vien up or something. i hate
people who cut. i hate my cynicism.