BabyKate

All About Me
2002-01-09 01:47:41 (UTC)

Sex and the City

Today, while sitting in dumb Mr. Newmans class... its a
shame that hes leaving, but either way its a dumb class...
physics is stupid! But neways i was sitting there... and
since i dont talk b/c i dunno i just dont i started to
think about how my life could so easily be compared to sex
and the city. It just seems that every past relationship
i have had winds up just like one that has appeared on
there. I mean im not dissing sex in the city one bit! i
love that show, but how ironic is it that every time i see
it, im like wait i can relate to that, and sumtimes when
she cries i cry! Like for example, the whole Mr. Bigg
thing! she always gets into a relationship with him, and
he doesnt wnat the commitment. oh can i ever relate to
that. For example ive been seeing this guy Jeff. Hes
really nice and all but hes the type of guy that wouldnt
strike you as the commitment type. I mean hes been a
great boyfriend. Yet when i think of how our relationship
has been, its apparent that he never thinks of me! i mean
yea i admit, it seems as thou i am very 'overprotective'
at times. but its for the best right... well as i tell
myself at least im considerate enough to think of his
feelings before i do something that i know ill regret. Yet
for him, i dont think his brain works... he doesnt think,
he just acts. Like i know he likes me, but its the fact
that ever since i started dating him i cant get him to
admit that i am that important to him. hes always saying
of course he cares for me but that ive found is only
becasue im his girlfriend. I sometimes wonder is that
becuase its just an item to have, or is it truly something
he wants. Well anwyas, back to the whole commitment
thing. As Mr. Biggs was going off to Paris for work and
didnt think taking her with him, she realized how he was
not ready for it, the commitment that is. Here is where i
dont have the exact situation. My significant other is
not moving to paris, in fact he lives not to far from me.
I see him just about everyday although talking is not
something we do daily. Yet, i left for florida for the
christmas break, and here is where i realized he did not
want the commitment of the relationship. I came over to
say goodbye, and he did not even stop playing his stupid x
box game to notice me. i even made him cookies, and he
couldnt stop to tell me he loved me. Which by the way he
never did say. Ive tried many times to get that out of
him, yet it never comes! Im not saying that i love him.
For i may lust after him, but love, thats a strong word.
I personally am not even sure i know what it means, i mean
sure i like him infact i like him alot, but sometimes i
think to better the relationship you cant involve the word
love. It scares me, mabye it is I who has the commitment
issue. But either way, it sux for me and for him. He may
of never been emotional in this relationship, but i have
been before. And time is something that scares me for it
brings about to much emotion. Then the dumb fool im
dating, has the bright idea to bring in the word LOVE.
Katy, I LOVE you... why does that just not sound right?
love love love all thats equal to to me is bla blah bla.
Mabye when i realize what it is when i get married or
sumthin, which at this rate will never happen, because i
am devoting myself to god, Thanx to JEFF! (gag me!), ill
understand what love means... but for now, wouldnt it be
nice to get in a relationship where love didnt matter,
emotions were left out, and commitment was purely between
a matter of trust and secrecy. All in all mabye it is not
Jeff who had the commitment problem, mabye it was I.




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