Forgotten Misery
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2002-01-09 00:54:13 (UTC)


What to write ohwell nothing real interesting is going on
with me right now. Im not in school and I really actually
want to start im tired of sitting on my ass and sleeping in
I want to do something productive yes and that means school
work lol. Never thought I would say that lol other than
that I went shot gun with mom today cause she cant leave
the house without cause she has no clue how to get around.
and hm then we went to target and damn this target was so
damn big it was kinda cool target rules and hm I think some
of the guys who work there were like stalking me around or
somthing cause target guys kept walking past me and looking
at me like hey baby I was like um to my self o please dont
look at me u horny pieces of crap..... lol notice im not
much on finding a new guy right now dont need to and dont
really want to ....once again write that down in the record
books. lmao hm what else I bought the Default cd for 9
bucks good deal I love the song wasting time and omg in the
vidoe the girl waiting for her man to show so reminded me
of myself a few times in my life cept I never had the happy
ending of the boyfriend showing up and everything being
good. well thats my life nothing ever goes right and that
folks is what makes me who I am let me tell u im jumpin
with joy over here lol hm my mom made chili for supper
wonder if it will be any good this time no offense and all
but my mom cant really cook shes one of those out of the
box cooks yummy lol!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hm o I cant drive my car
cause its not insured yet and we dont own it till tom and
linda decide who my dad is supposed to write the check to
so hopefully it will be all said and done after tomorrow im
hope so I can get it insured to drive hm I might try again
to get enrolled to school and get a counselor better than
the one im supposed to have cause i dont like him he was no
help to us and the whole time was staring at my chest talk
about feeling really uncomfortable. Whats up with all
these creepy guys up here guess they never saw a cute lil
southren girl lol ewe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
O I got an e-mail from holly today markys lil sis i miss
her so much i hear all these stories of them going past my
locker expecting me to show up and I dont makes me sad.
But I think I need to stop holding on but Im going to only
thing is I get this mind frame of i hate ohio im not gona
make new friends cause i dont want to i like the ones i
have y do i need new ones so i come off um really stuck up
me out of all people how crazy is that? Im miss never mean
to anybody and have friends that are complete dorks that no
one likes to like ones that are cheerleaders u know. sighs
Still debating if im actually gona work on the house any
so its clean if Geoff comes up im debating still if he will
come up cause I know not to get my hopes up cause ever time
I do there is a no show by him he tries to hard to please
everyone and hes always so busy doing that he needs to stop
and do what geoff wants to do. I was real disapointed in
him to read that he has a makeout buddy thats so awful
things like that only play with your heart and always hurt
u I know how I know from people trying to make me there
fuck buddy and thats all and getting rid of me if I wouldnt
hence jake kruer did that to me at the beging of the year
along with jake murphy hence I dont date jakes anymore then
the whole thing with that aj kid asshole and then god I
have been used over and over again y do I continue to let
that happen to me I listen to my heart and its never right
and breaks heals breaks heals and right now it gave up its
half healed and shuts ever thing else out along with about
everyone. I dont hang my problems out to dry anymore or
set them on display for all to see which i guess in the
words of ryan he always wanted me to do that and told the
same thing to me about i was running around making ever one
happy but myself i didnt know how damn right he was then
but now i know he knew me he knew me to well and he is the
wisest person i have come across and damn y didnt i ever
listen to him? ok supper ready im getting to much in
detail heart is going back in hinding bye