*brokenangel*

Up or Down

Dear Diary,

it's gotten a little and i mean a lITTLE better for me.
i've come to solve a few problems at school, but it seems
like everytime i solve a problem another one arrives. so a
few things have gotten better but now i now have new one's
to deal with.
As you know i was planing on telling someone about my
problems and getting help for it. so i did! i told my mom
everything and as it turns out depression runs in my
family!!! OH GREAT. my two aunts are on medican for
depressoin, so my mom is going to take me to go see the
doctor and see if he would like to put me on medication!!!
how messed up is that.... i'm 16 and going to be on
medication for depression. but in a way it makes me feel
better......maybe i will be able to return to myself
someday and be able to be the happy hyper all around weird
person i once was!!!! ok ok so i'm still weird and hyper at
time.....but i haven't been truly happy, i mean completely
totaly happy in over a year!
so i guess you can say over all today so far has been a
step in the right direction....i can't really say it's been
better, because in a way it hasn't. but hey good news.... i
smiled today and i am so proud of myself. it's the first
time i've smiled in a long time! lets just hope i don't
crash and burn tomorrow. i have many things tomorrow that
will and are going to bring me down..... lets hope i can
still hold my head up above the water!