The Nightshade Princess
2002-01-08 03:35:04 (UTC)

red water, chase them away

Today was the most stressful one that I can recall,
aside from Sept. 11, when my psychic sense ran wild. I was
immediate dumped from my nocturnal existance, in which my
body's rhythms and cycles were all in their natural state,
to a schedule that fit NOTHING. I don't get hungry in the
morning, when I first get up. I don't get hungry at 11:30,
either. Usually, I am hungry between 1/2 - 1 hour after I
get up, but for some reason the daytime schedule pushes
that back a bit. I would get hungry around 1 1/2- 2 hours
after... but I am directly in the middle of first period -
another 3 hours to go that I could not endure. In the
afternoons, I have "lunch" at 11:30 am. Normally, I don't
eat lunch. The energy I expend trying to keep awake when
every chemical change in my body tells me to sleep (I'm
nocturnal by nature), forces me to eat an extra meal. The
problem is, I'm not usually hungry then, and if by some
freak I AM hungry, my little appetite vanishes in the
stench of dead, roasting creatures, and the roar of
hundreds of voices, not to mention the fragrance of that
many humans ::shudders:: Damn these acute senses! The
energy, too, gets to me. All these auras and all this life
around me, so much of it agitated and angry and nervous.
It poisons me, and I must TRY to keep my random empathic
abilities bridled, putting up a mental/psychic barrier
between myself and the rest. That takes concentration, as
I've not yet learned to do it with enough skill. If I go
outside to escape this, I am hit with the blinding sun
(even outside the buildings, sunglasses are forbidden!),
and there is nowhere to sit. Then there is the cold... it
bothers me none at all in the mornings, as the sun is
rising. My body heats up around that time anyway, before
cooling down quite massively. Usually the cold hits me
just after first period begins, and I am slipping in and
out of sleep again. On the mornings after nights that have
frozen the ground, I have surfaced lightly from sleep,
dimly aware that my blankets were at my feet. Only when I
wake fully, some hours later (unless I can rouse myself
further to pull them up), I find the damn blankets still
around my ankles, as the rest of me is quite cold.
Anyway, after finding out that the class and lunch I
was to share with my beloved had been changed, that by the
end of the week, I shall have more book than I can
physically lift, and that I have most of my walking path in
a crowded, noisy hall, I got on the bus to find the worst,
brightest sunlight I've seen in quite some time making my
eyes water, and all of the many many people crowded onto my
bus screaming their lungs out (I am NOT exaggerating any of
this by the way - they literally WERE screaming), I slip
into a soft, scented bubble bath.
The water was like warm, liquid silk. I watched my
tiny, white hand slip in and out of the water so clouded
with fragrance and oils and bubble bath that it was
murkey. Totally submerged except for a couple of my
feminine attributes, as well as my head and neck. My
round, soft breasts, just covered by the mounds of white
foam floating about. The light of over a dozen candles
strewn about my bathtub all glowing brilliantly. So may
flames... A single, sensuous moment of peace. Did I give
you naughty thoughts? For those who do not know me aside
from this journal, probably not... but if you DO know me...
oh well. This IS my journal, after all... Expect more of
this, for I must learn to feel better about myself, and
this is a damn good start.