.Scream Your Dream.
maybe if boys were more like girls...
sam made me cry last night, i talked to him and he was his
usual, sad and complicated, away and distant. thats just
who he is. he made me feel simple and easy. so what, i
have a lot of love for him and he cant understand why i
feel and hurt and care for him. how can he expect me to
open up to him if all he ever tells me are sad jaded tales
of why he cant tell me things.
my sordid obsession to steal his innosence is ever
prevelant. i think about him and it makes me so sad, about
his zine, all the girls who i lent it to who are now
suddenly in love with this boy theyve never met. as i stand
here confused and wanting more than hes giving me. (then he
can ever give me) i know hes hurt and jaded. i know that im
not stupid but i guess i though if i tried to love him,
maybe he'd love me back, maybe, maybe i could be what annie
was, oh thats even more wrong, she shouldnt have hurt him
like that, but its not really her fault, he shoudltn have
gotten so dependent, and now everyones hurt.
i sit wiht look ahead in my back pocket, read by how many
girls? how many, i dont know, a lot, he doenst feel as
i wish he could just understand, for a second, how amazing
he is, appreciate his writing and so many other things,
just feel special for once.
zac, hes another scary confused tale of my own frustrations
ps. my mom gave me a car. thats tight.