jen

Yet another day...

Today was a very boring day for me. I had to wake up so
early to go to work and then I felt so incredibly sick when
I got home that I napped forever. Now I am up and not doing
crap. I haven't talked to tim yet, he don't get home till
like 11:30, which sucks. I haven't talked to anyone.
Everyone is too busy anyways. I use to have like 3 of my
bestest friends in the world, but now they are like too
busy for me, except Amy. Kasi and I use to be like the
greatest of friends, but she has changed so much!!! She
parties 24/7 and has had a boyfriend for a while now and is
up his ass 24/7.She has just changed dramatically. I use to
be good friends with Tasha but not I don't even see her.
She is always on/off with different guys and friends and
still goes to h.s, (which i graduated early, but taking
college courses in the morning) so I never see her. I guess
I only have Amy left. Which is hard to see her cuz she has
a (almost)4 month old baby (Alyssia, who is such a
dollbaby) and is getting married in June. It is hard to do
anything with her. But I love to see her. I will always
feel close to her, even if we don't talk about our personal
lives, etc. I guess I just have her and Tim. Everyone else
is just too plain busy for me. I hate when people, and I
know one certain person who thinks that definately, think
that I am being snobby cuz I don't talk to them.Well if
peopel at my school don't talk to me then what's the use in
trying to talk to them. I use to hang out with the druggies
and partiers until I met tim, and they weren't really my
friends, and they wonder why i don't chat up with them, but
they don't go out of their way to say a word to me. I don't
talk to people who act like they hate me or are too good
for me, sorry. I am totally a nice person.I don't know.
Things have changed so much in these past few years. I feel
like I need to get out and do something, but I feel so
obsolete and left out from everyone I have made friends
with in the past and my "close" friends (or was close
friends)So I never do anything barely. I feel like a loser.
I wonder if anyone else is going through this right now?? I
don't know. I always feel like the only person. Tim is
kinda going through that too. Friends come and go a lot. I
can't control anything that happens.But I just wish I could
make things better. I don't know???? I need to get away
from here. I would love to just take Tim and leave for a
couple weeks. And wake up next to him in the morning. That
would be nice. My parents would probably have a search team
out for me for all I know. I am 18,but I feel so trapped,
and I feel like by now I have lost everything except for
Tim and partially Amy. What happened to everyone????? as I
said they are TOO BUSY WITH THEIR OWN LIVES TO NOTICE ME!!!
Yep,that is right. Oh well. I am gonna do something else. I
am bored:) I guess I am too boring that noone else responds
to me:( bye 4 now!