sex kitten

life of a porn star
2002-01-07 22:11:00 (UTC)

college/guys/lesbianisn

today was kinda stressful. i have been feeling a little
uneasy about things lately. first of all i went to go pick
up my paycheck and they told me they probabally wont need
me for awhile-long story short- i got laid off. i was
finnally comfortable with my job and i realy liked working
there. i dont know if i should look for a new job or wait
and see if they will call me back in a few weeks. and i
really am going to miss lindsay phil holly and mabey even
christina a little. so there is the problem of the day
the problem of the week is that all of a sudden maggie
is a full blown lesbian who fucks her new gf jackie all the
time apparently. she sweats her so bad. it kinda grosses me
out bc its maggie and she is one of those poeple that piss
u off when they are excited about something. so ne ways i
feel like the only stright girl in the whole world which
brings me to my next point.
over the past year i have strangely been intrigued by
this person that happens to be of the same sex as me but we
are not really good friends or ne thing. i dont think its
like a crush or ne thing and it sounds dumb so i dunno. i
would never tell ne one about it but i have had weird
thoughts about her that i am not too proud of. she is gay i
think but she never talks about it and she is a really cool
person. for some reason i have kept my distance from her bc
i just like to watch her. eww this is too gross. mabey its
all the lesbianism that has been going around my school.
all of asudden its the thing to do and i hate it. but i am
afraid i have been one all along and i cant do ne thing
about it bc its like im jumping on the band wagon but its
only been about this one girl so maby i am not gay but i
just admire her bc if i never saw her after tommarow i
would not ever think of another girl again. o well i will
go to college next year and never think of it again. so
next problem-
COLLEGE- i got accepted to buffalo state and i will
most likely go there in the fall. but i was talking to matt
about two weeks ago and he was sayin how he is going to
ntrip. i think i love him though but he would never give me
the chance to find out. i could never go to a college bc of
a guy, esp a community college lol. but i miss him so much
and if we were in the same classes we might get back to
being friends agian. but most likely not so i will not go
there but its a cool thought of us running into each other
agin next year-sigh
also i have a date for date dance so i will get to have
jared all to myself for an evening. but he makes me so
nervous and i am afraid i will act dumb around him. i
always say stupid things around him now and i dont like
talkng to him ne more. bc i know its a bad ideea to like
him. just like i know that its a bad idea to like matt. and
its a bad idea to go back and use greg. so basicaly i am
going to get hurt again if i dont change my life soon. ugh