sassysag1219

Happy New Years -2002

7 days past the new year, and things are quite good.
ALthough N Y's didnt exactly start off with a abng, more
like a slap. Yup Damien and I got into it big time. I just
dont understand him sometimes, he has a problem with these
mood swings of his....on a good note I do understand him
when he talks calmly and tells me how he feels, and thats
why things are going well. Since the first of the year, we
have made love 4 times....4 x's in 7 days, trust me thats
good compared to before. Im just try ing harder to
understnad him, we still have our disagreements, we will
always have our disagreements, but one things I know will
never change is the strong feelings we have for one
another. I know we truly love each other, and we cant
imagine living our lives separate from one another....that
would be close to impossible. I love him so much. I know I
have my faults as well, but I love him more than anything,
and my son is the world to me....my family is my world!!!

Now I do want to write about something....GICEL....First
off I hate that bitch. Ok got that off my chest. The
mention of her name, the sight of her, the mere idea of her
in my mind, is enraging! Ever since I saw those pictures,
and he called me her name TWICE, I have nothign but anger
for her....I want this to change, but how do I do
that....Maybe on a subconscious level, I am jealous of her.
Could I be....or maybe its that I feel that Damien still
has feelings for her on some level....why would he have
pictures of her....WHY and then not to mention the video i
saw of Little Damiens Baptism....they were drunk...and I
saw him all over her..coming up behind her, and putting his
arms around her waist....what really happened that
night...then there was another part where they deceided to
slip away into the kitchen...what happened out of view, uh?
And I also remember him saying that he saw a tatoo on her
thigh, ok first of all WHY, again.....and second of all,
the damn tatoo is WAY HIGH on her thigh....what the
fuck ...she had to have hiked up that dress way up for him
to see it.....UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH! I hate this shit!
Ok I dont want to dwell on this, I just want help getting
through this....I dont want to bring her up in our fights
anymore....she comes up because I REMEMBER the things he
used to say about her, the way he treated her.....and I
think she is the lowest on earth, and then I see how I get
treated, i automatically start comparing....she is NOT
better than me!!!!!!!! Never will be. So, do I hate her or
am I jealous!.....you tell me....Maybe I am the on with
problems UH??? Anyway....enough about her......

I love Damien and Jonathan...they are the only persons in
my life I should worry about NO one else!!!e

Damien is a good person, and Jonathan is beautiful....I
will do anything for him, and to keep my family
together...!!!!

Oh almost forgot....who the FUCK is ESTELLA