whipkitaen

My New Goals for the Year
2002-01-07 15:46:55 (UTC)

Why do I hate everyone today?

I hate everyone today. I feel vicious and ugly. I've
actually felt this way for a few days, I'm trying not to
let it affect me, because mainly I think I'm mad at me.
GRRRR. What an awful way to start the new year. I'm
suppose to be the ultra-wonderful submissive. Fuck that, I
don't feel submissive in the slightest. I'm suppose to set
these examples for people. to make sure that everyone else
is taken care of. I can't and I won't do it anymore. The
only person who really takes care of me is Lacy - and good
lord, if I go to her one more time about Paul, she's going
to cut my damn arm off. Or some other important body part
that I like :) I'm just tired of it all!! The worst part
is I don't even know what I am tired off. I'm in desperate
straights financially, I'm scared I'm going to lose
everything. Not that I have that much to lose, but still.
I'm desperately seeking a part time job, but I don't see
anything too appealing in my future. I don't want to
waitress - I suck at it.

I still have to find the motivation to go to the gym. I
want to be tight, tighter then I am now. I finally made an
appointment to get my teeth cleaned. I haven't gone to the
dentist since 1998. That's not good. One side of my mouth
I can't even chew on. So, it's time I got that fixed. The
hair came out okay. I don't think I am thoroughly
satisfied with the color. I wanted something lighter to
work with. :( Oh well.

Tonight, I'm going to try and work on my bedroom. To see if
I can start getting that in any kind of order. I have a
ton of clothes to clean - I wish I had a laundry in my
apartment. Life would be so much simpler. I was going to
clean this weekend - and BOOM. I got lazy. SO much for
that frigging resolution huh?




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