Self harming dyke
My doctor, my love
Mood: Seesaw (ie up and down)
Song: Anything by *Groove Armada*
Cuts: Still none, but I have a nasty feeling there may be
some by tomorrow.
I know, I have been doing very well. It is over 2
weeks since I actually cut myself. I would be a fool to
step back into that crap again. However, it isn't that
easy, and being back in Brussels has reminded me of my
fragility. It is easy to be strong when you have the
unconditional love of family around you, but not so easy
when you have to confront being alone and lonely again.
Brussels hasn't changed (What did I expect...?) but I will
try hard to be a little different myself. I know that my
attitude is the enemy. I am going to try meditation I think.
I really miss the doctor. (one of these days I'll actually
name her) She was so kind and sweet and lovely. I keep
seeing people who I think are her at a distance. Even
though I know that they couldn't possibly be her, my heart
leaps stupidly each time. I wonder if I'll ever see her
again? She has my address... maybe she'll write. I doubt