ViOLeNtLy STaTeD

If I Told U, Would U Hate Me
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2002-01-07 12:41:01 (UTC)

MY FIRST DAY OF SHCOOL

Well its 7:32 on this lovely monday morning...ive been up
since 4:30 getting ready and i was done by 5:45 yet the
news said school was delayed for two hours so now i get to
sit here until 9...isnt that great...it doesnt matter
though maybe it will help calm my nerves...i dont know why
but im scared to go to school...maybe its because ive never
really gone to a school this big and the school i did go to
that was this big i knew everybody cuz i went to grade
school with them and even then i was only at Durango for
maybe two weeks before i got kicked out for fighting...yes
you all know the story of the principals daughter and the
softball team captain...well hey they shouldnt have been
talkin shit and she shouldnt have stepped on my shoe...oh
well though right who cares thats in the past and i dont
live in the past anymore...this is the present and this
decides my future... i got an email today from a really
good friend actually my best friend in vegas ...ashley...
love her to death...shes having the same thoughts that i
did before i cam here and well it hasnt gotten much better
here for me except the fact that im doing what ashley needs
to do as well...im going back to school...because i still
can...i will be working ....and rehab is great...ashley i
didnt just up and do this all in one day...ive been working
on it since i got here...it helps to surround yourself with
positive people as well as having the will power to do
things...just set your mind to it and you can do it...im
doing it so far...it will be okay and im always here for
you you know that...as for ROLLY havent heard shit in like
five days and im really worried...he knew today was my
first day of school yet no call no email no letter no
nothing...im so frustrated with him right now...that really
let me down...but its understandable since hes all on drugs
and drinking still so his memory is probably shot all to
hell...anyways i had this really weird dream last night...i
was fighting with a guy but i couldnt see his face and we
were fighting like we were arguing about something ic ant
remember but like i was crying and then i said fine ill
just drive away now and i did then i was sitting in the
corner of a room crying and i got up and walked out the
door then took off running down the street and ended up in
an alley somewhere and i jumped up on top of a trash can
and sat there crying...then i woke up ...i have no clue
what the hell but if youve read my past entries youll see
that theres been a lot of weird things going on with me
lately...i dont know but im gonna go smoke a cigarette with
my mom and chat a bit before school...hopefully rolly will
call...i dont ill talk to u later and let u know how school
goes...okalie dokalie


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