Realizations of a 24yr old convict
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2002-01-07 08:44:33 (UTC)

didnt ask for forgivness

I didnt ask for your forgivness,dont want it.
Dont want absolution for my so called sins wouldnt matter
to me. if it makes you happy makes you feel like your a
bigger person than you are then by all means offer,Ill
decline. I ve come to terms with myself and am thankful for
every action and the pain and exspecially the smiles and
the love. Im not scared, Im myself and I sit here honest
all my cards layed before me beliveing I can see them
through the smoke. Nothing to prove to the world knowing I
owe it nothing. Knowing only test I choose to take.
able to speak what I really think is a godsent and being
able to express who I am with no bars no social boundrys
no long set cultural right and wrong to obey only self that
is all. Dealing in feelings as words will not trouble me
Im no longer studer stepped by fear and emotinail scars.
I could look you dead in the face though the eyes into the
heart and say I love you with out the fear of rejection
knowing thats how I feel reguardless of what you might say.
No life changing events provide the motivation to pen this
tonight. No new love no sex no drinks, just life.
mabe two girls actully one who intrigues me to no end for
no reason. The other always there. I could face either one
of them with out fear say what ever I might with out the
thought of regret.
Am I healed did I come to tell the broken hearted it will
be ok and all the pain will subside with time. To tell them
my nights are no longer plagued with dreams of my first
love. Sorry and Im am trully sorry for if I was the person
I longed to meet for so long I would spend my days
preaching it like a new found religion.No shes still there
gently weezing in my ear before i sleep, her face still
there in the mist of clouds in my dreams and finger tips
have memories and I cant forget the curves of her body.
Its just alright today,its been alright for awhile ego
aside nothing to hide behind not wanting to hide,just
wanting to be in it real about it honest about it.
About these feeling what ever they may be just my feelings
how ever I might see it no matter how twisted or
misunderstood by the world Im alright with it.