thouhgts of Sam
2002-01-07 04:16:58 (UTC)

Well now....

So, Joselin got back this weekend, and she got her
liciense. It is so great I got to see her on saturday and
I was(and still am) so happy. Everything is the way it
should be. We went to this vietnamese restuarant and I had
a real big bowl of chicken noodle soup. Katy had some
chicken and rice thing, and joselin had something to do
with rice too. But it was good and I got to ride in the
BENZ for the first time. It was great I think I made her a
little nervous though, but its all good. And then we
decided we were going to go hot tubbing. That was fun, the
water was really hot and it was super duper cold outside
and of course I didnt have any kind of bathing suit so I
had to go in my boxers. It was interesting to say the
least cause after I got out I had to "freeball" in some
scrub pants I have for work and oddly it was really warm in
them I think it's cause I was so cold from the exchange of
hot water to cold climate. But it was fun, then on Sunday
joselin, katy, and kelly met me and aum in the school
parking lot. Then we had to go to walgreens cause kelly
fell down the stairs and her asshole dad looked at her and
didnt even help her. Neither did her brother Ian. I mean
it was said that a complete stranger would have helped her
more than her family and damn it that really fucking sucks
that you would let your own flesh and blood cry and be in
pain on the floor. What the shit is that? But after that
we all went to boathouse and ate something then we just
kind of chilled at katys house forever but you know it was
really great, you know why? Cause I got to spend some time
with my joselin and damn it thats what I really need. I
needed to just be there with her, and now I can more so
than ever cause finally she can drive here to my house and
see me. You I think it's so great that she has a car now
at least I hope she can feel like she is more independant.
All I want is for her to be happy. And I really want her
to be happy with me. I know she is and I know how happy
she makes me. And you know I really dont care what anyone
else says I love her. I dont know what I would do without
her right now. I have been having my damn nightmares again
and this time they are different. I dont know I really
dont want to talk about them right now cause I think I am
going to go get in the shower and then I think I am going
to go to bed. Since tomorrow is the first day back at
school. But you know it's all good cause I only have one
more semester and then I am finally done with high school.
Wow that is kind of scary, cause once I'm done with school
I am an adult now I will never be a kind again. And on
some levels thats a good thing but on others that's a bad
thing. I dont want to be responsible I mean I love to be
able to just do whatever. Oh man I have no idea what the
future holds but it's ok cause we will all get there
together and I think that's what's really important. For
the future to be a new and wonderful experience not some
horrible thing with no rules and what not. "We have to have
some order to the chaos that is our lives."