eidolon

shifting mists
2002-01-07 03:42:19 (UTC)

heavy heart ...

~looking around the room in which i sit ... Jeremy's
room ... out the rain splattered window at the city
lights that cluster closer and closer to each other as they
fade off into the distance ... thinking of Jeremy,
still at work, and glancing at the clock .... blue
gaze glimmering with turquoise green as moisture glitters
there before making a slow trail downwards~

... i value what i have found more than i could ever
express ... these last three weeks have been like nothing
i've ever experienced before .... the person who said ''you
don't know what you've got until it's gone'' is wrong ....
i know exactly what i have .. and i am grateful for every
single miniscule moment and part .... that's why it's so
hard to leave ...

... even though it's not a permanent departure ... two
months ... maybe three ... with a short visit from Jeremy
while i'm in the hospital next month .... it still
hurts ... and i hate it ...

... i can't even begin to express how grateful i am for
what i've found with him .... how much i don't want to
leave .... how scared and sad i am ....

~looking around again ... sighing sadly~ ... not
even twentyfour hours left .... ~frown~