Thoughts of Bunny Fu Fu
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So Jake and I have gotten to know eachother very well.
Steve and I are on a break. Jake wants to kiss me... I
want him to kiss me... it has yet to happen. He's
supposidly coming over but I haven't gotten a call back
yet so... we wait. I should think about lunch.
I've been sick. I hate being sick. My sniffly nose and
shit just pisses me off. I end up talking about how I'd
love to rip my sinus cavities out.
Jake and I went to see Lord of the Rings Fellowship
yesterday evening. We held one anothers hands.. yes..
hands... for the duration of the movie (3 hours). I've
seen it 3 times now, but it was his first time. Still a
great movie after the 3rd time. I am still wanting to go
and see it again. I'm on a desperate search for more
people to go and see that movie. Then again, I really
should just buy it when it comes out and watch it over and
over and over and over and over and over and over and over
again. Until the tape wears out. Then I'll buy another
one. A very good movie, indeed. Very accurate with JRR
Tolkiens descriptions. Loved it. Loved seeing it with
Jake. I love Jake. He told me he loved me in the movies.
He said it in such a way that just made me want to cry.
It's all quite interesting... this whole scenario.
I still love Steve... but the way I feel for Jake is just
amazing. He'll run his hands through my hair and down the
back of my neck around to my face and it's all I can do to
not lean forward and kiss him. His eyes... if I look into
them for too long I loose myself and I loose trust in
myself. I don't want to scare the shit out of him, after
Steve and I have more of a comfortable friendly love. I
think that it would be very easy to go back to that, too.
I know that it wouldn't for him, because he still loves me
very strongly in the romantic sense. I hate the thought of
hurting him... I still think there's some romance there...
it's just... he did hurt me.. and ignored me... and made
me feel like I didn't deserve better treatment for quite
some time. I guess now I have taken a bit of control on my
life. Somewhat. I don't know about this Jake thing...
that's why I'm not too eager to call him again. We've seen
eachother Friday, Saturday, and he wants to be with me
again today. Not that I'm one to argue... time passes
quickly and our conversations are great. He makes me
happy. He wants to take me to a Nine Inch Nails concert in
March... and dinner beforehand. Mm... sounds like a dream.
I don't know what my parents will say to that. I just,
don't, know. *hopes*
Off I go into the mist, until next time- ~Laura
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