The Shadow of Myself
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2002-01-06 06:48:51 (UTC)

so much more...

I haven't actually done one of these for awhile... oops. I
was at home and well.. my computer at home is a little not
as fast as this one. ;) Anyway.. I've got lots of things
on my mind. I've been thinking a lot. What??!! ME?? I
know it's crazy the me of all people would be thinking
about something... expecially in depth.

Alright.. I went out with a guy over break. He was really
nice. I enjoyed spending time with him and he seemed to be
very sincere and thoughtful. We got to talk quite a bit
and he made me laugh. Actually I think the biggest
accoplishment is something that only I can understand.
Nobody else would really be able to grasp how much doing so
much of nothing meant to me. I guess you just have to know
my past.. and how much of a struggle I had to get where I
am now. And even being where I am now I have to sometimes
struggle with it. It's just really comforting to see how
much better things are and how much I've grown. I doubt
anyone can see it.. but I can feel it.. and it's sooo

I had a really great break. Once again I was reminded of
how much things are changing and how much I don't know at
all. Isn't that great.

On other thing.. it's really kinda a big thing b/c it means
a lot to me. Somebody.. who I've been talking to and being
there for quite awhile has come around. They have told me
a few things.. and well I suppose it just means a lot. I
tried so hard to show them how sincere I was... and I've
been praying really hard. So I guess you've just gotta
wait for some of the best things that you always want so
bad.. b/c in the end... waiting makes the mean sooo much