Unholy and Dirty and Beautiful Me
2002-01-05 08:13:09 (UTC)

"Dear, Dear Diary

I wanna tell my secrets/'Cause you're the only one/that I
know will keep them/Dear,dear diary/I wanna tell my
secrets/I know you'll keep them/So this is what I've
done/I've been a bad, bad girl/For so long/Don't know how
to change/What went wrong/" PINK, MiSSUndAZtOOd.

Hmmph. Why do things always go this way??? Went out with
StC & some others last night to a bar in the city when who
should appear but D. Came and talked to me a bit & told me
about his shitty holidays and we got caught up on stuff.
It's so weird how every time I see him it's different..I
never know how to take him...I can't help wondering what he
feels these days. Heared he broke up with the girl he was
seeing 'cause of all this stress even though he had
feelings for her. Wasn't feeling too much for her when he
kissed me and let me fall asleep in his arms not too long
ago. Then again, I really didn't feel too much between us
last night. Nothing really, old friends shooting the
breeze. So shitty that I've still got all these feelings
for him pent up inside of me. I'd never tell a soul pride keeps me from admitting my defeat and
loneliness to people in real life....this is so stupid. For
so long I was doing so well and now these feelings come
creeping back to me. What the hell?