Thoughts from Blue Angel
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2002-01-05 07:47:49 (UTC)

Let the Games Begin

I did the craziest thing tonight.

Adam* got online about 4:00 this afternoon and told me that
he'd meet me tonight if I wanted to see him. So, less than
half an hour later, I was filling up my gas tank and headed
on the one and a half hour drive.

* I know, I know... The Adam's are confusing. This Adam
is the one who I was kind of seeing over the summer from
another state.

He told me that he'd found a spot where we could go. As
I'd figured, it was a frat house (even though I was
surprised that it was the Alpha Gamma Rho house since Adam
is a Sigma Phi Epsilon... but now I'm just rambling).

So, after eating some pizza and watching a movie, we
settled into a room who's occupant was still gone for
break. We had the most awesome sex ever. It was
absolutely crazy and spontaneous no-strings sex, and I
loved every minute of it!

So why would I go to see a guy who'd screwed me over so
badly once before? Well, the reason I got fucked over last
time is because I wasn't aware of the game he was playing.
This time, I had the game figured out. So I played. And
it was fun. I must admit it was much more fun than last
time- thinking it was more than just fucking and then
realizing half way through that I was wrong.

So, I'm starting to fulfill part of my *ultimate*
resolution. Of course, I'm not going to go around fucking
just any guy... but I figured since I'd already slept with
Adam anyway, I might as well go for it. I had a little fun
and released a little tension, all while keeping the wall
up to detach the emotion from the physical action. Would
it be easy to keep up if we were seeing each other more
often? Probably not. However, that's not the case.

I'm gonna win this game someday. But until then, I'll
choose my times to play along. After all, everybody's
gotta have a little fun every once in a while.