nin137

Nick's Journal
2002-01-05 07:20:42 (UTC)

Night

So I reaffirmed that I don't want to end up like the poor
forgotten souls that traverse the multiple aisles of wal-
mart. I've also reaffirmed that I don't want to become
the dull eyed business man that i've pretty much been
carved out to be.
I shudder when i think of mediocrity. I mean even the
lowest of the low have the adventure of survival, granted
not a blast of an adventure, but when you're mediocre it's
not that you can't go up or down, it's merely that you're
so submissive to the "i guess i'm okay" mood that you're
in that you daren't leave it. it's like a prison. when
you're poor you want to go up, you hate those on the
higher rung of the monetary ladder. when you're high up,
you want to go even further, or wish that you had taken a
different path to get where you were, you want something.
when you're mediocre you're too afraid to go down thus
casting away the poor, and don't care enough to out, thus
forgetting about the rich.
you have your wife, who has all of a sudden gained
the "housewife 50 lbs" and no longer gives a flying fuck
if her sweat pants make her thighs look like the sails of
a boat. you've given up caring about her and about
yourself. you figure "why should i dress up for the drive
through guy?", "fuck it", you go the office and you
convienently place your tie so that it covers up the two
buttons that you're wife isn't "interested" in sewing up,
and you can't help yourself because you were under the
delusion that sewing was not a "guy thing". grudgingly
you teach yourself, prick yourself, get blood all over the
shirt, take it to the cleaner, who "loses" it. 2 weeks
later you bring up "oh yeah and i need a new shirt" at the
dinner table, promptly 3 weeks after that a new shirt
enters into your rotation of conforming to the rigid dress
attire required by the "Man".
--- Oh yeah, my dog took a shit today in the snow, right
by some kids that were sledding. They had their expensive
Lexus sleds or what not, and my dog just plopped one right
there. Now must people pick the shit up but if I want to
pick up the shit that others take and make it go away for
them I'll become a lawyer. The shit kinda "sank". The
parents saw it and quickly ushered their kids
away.......yeah I guess it can be kinda scary when you
honestly see your reflection.




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