I Debbie...
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2001-04-10 22:51:09 (UTC)

Another Brain Cramp

I tell you what I think I am on a role. If you want it bad
enough and it is reasonable to think you can achieve it,
then just do it. It is easier to think up an excuse than it
is to have tried and then realize the end result is not
feasable. I don't mean to try to swim the English Chanel if
you have no arms and legs. That is unrealistic. But if you
have the means than you owe it to yourself to at least try.
I mean that if Brian really wanted to chase then he would
find a way. He would go with Jeff or someone or find out how
to get involved with some group that does it. He would not
need me telling him what to do next. He is a resourceful man
and he should be able to figure out some things for himself.
If he doesn't like his job,find another one. Period.Like he
doesn't know anyone or has any connections. Don't feed me
that crap about not being able to find a job. So you get one
you really like for not that much money and then another one
part time. In time you chose which one you really like and
hopefully can make money at it. If not keep the other one
until you find something else. Just like I do, I find
something else. If I need food and all I have is my two
feet,use them. I feel so liberated. I found myself again
today and I love it. I think I am going to scream if he
comes home grumbling about chasing. If he really wanted to
he could find a way. And if it isn't feasable then grow up
and accept the fact that not everything in life is easy or
within your realm to do. He needs to stop acting like a
spoiled child and become like the rest of us, adult in
an adult world. If your car is unable to go far because of
money then it is not feasable to expect that you will go
anywhere,let alone chase. A way to attain feasability is to
make things happen. Take a piece of your life like it was
fruit and bite into it and let it soak into your skin and
permeate your soul. Take advantage of your gifts and use
them to create more gifts. So I still owe money on the car
that was repossesed. So I will find a way to pay them back.
If I let it go it will just snowball. If I had really
wanted to gain control of my life before I may have stopped
the repossesion. Brian is only partly to blame. I can only
holod myself ccountable for my own action ,feelings,and
thoughts. And sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before
you can get up on your feet. So much needless wasted
energy. If I really wanted to see my parents I would go. I
don't. Well, that isn't totally true. But partly. I need to
find a way to keep the momentum going. Please God help me to
find a continuity in this pathway. I Debbie

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