*MS JLYN*

BUTTERFLYZ............

Butterflyz

Hmmmmm...
Lately when I look into your eyes
Baby I fly, you're the only one I need in my life
Baby I just don't know how to describe
How lovely you make me feel inside

You give me butterflyz
Have me flyin' so high in the sky
I can't control the butterflyz
You give me butterflyz
Have me flyin' so high in the sky
I can't control the butterflyz

It seems like the likely thing
From the start you told me
I would be your queen
But never had I imagined such a feeling
Joy is what you bring
I wanna give you everything

You give me butterflyz
Got me flyin' so high in the sky
I can't control the butterflyz
You give me butterflyz
Got me flyin' so high in the sky
I can't control these butterflyz

You and I
Are destiny
I know that
You were made for me

Ohhhhhh...
I can't control it
It's driven me
It's taken over me and I
Ohhhhhh...

You give me butterflyz
Got me flying so high in the sky
I can't control the butterflyz
You give me butterflyz
Got me flyin' so high in the sky
I can't control these butterflyz

You give me something I just can't deny
Something that's so free
I just can't control the way I feel
And I don't
You give me something I just can't deny
Something that's so free
Oh, I never felt like this

I listened to this song over and over again today. I don't
know why, but I just felt like hearing it. They say Alicia
Keys wrote this when she was fourteen. Dang, how can you
describe anything at such an age? Butterflyz......I wonder
what they feel like? Anyway, I got a lil email in my inbox
from someone that I was just thinking about days ago, my
cousin Jaymela from Atlanta. When I was up there, I thought
about her and I was wondering to myself if I would maybe
run into her. To be honest though....I wouldn't know what
she looks like if I did see her. I haven't seen or spoken
to her since 1996. She's my cousin on my father's side and
I don't really communicate with that side that much. She is
one year older than me. She goes to Gordon College, which
isn't that far from me....I think. But I remember when we
were young. She was my favorite cousin. We played all the
time. We always got the same things....just different
colors. When I started cheering, she started cheering too.
I taught her everything she knows!(smiles) I remember the
summer I stayed with her. We use to wake up real late and
eat hotdogs for breakfast. We would watch tv forever. We
would stay up late and talk about crazy stuff. I remember
even back then I was boy crazy, and right next door to her
was this boy named Adrian Belton(I still remember his
name!) She would always try to hook me up with him.
LOL...those were the carefree days when I didn't know what
heartache was or felt like. I sometimes wish I could go
back to those days. Dang, what happened to the coolness
between me and Leroy? Why do I have this attitude towards
him now? Why does he have it towards me? I guess the road
couldn't run forever. Man......it's kinda sad. On another
note, I talked to Kellen online last nite. He is a damn
trip. He said that he didn't want to disappoint
me....whatever that may mean! He said that he doesn't want
me to be mad at him and that he wants us to be cool. He is
definitely a sweetheart and I told him that Amanda was
lucky to have someone like him. Then he said thank you and
that he remembers everything I say to him. ???????O????????
K! He is definitely a mystery to keep up with. He has this
thing with leaving me hanging. It would be perfect if I
liked him like that, but I don't. He kept asking me where
my heart is and I just told him no where. It really isn't
anywhere, at least not dealing with a dude it is. Right
now, my heart and passion is for education. Not really the
education you get in school, but more self-awareness
education. I'm so interested in the struggles and triumphs
of my hertiage. Every aspect of it interests me. I was told
I think too much. Maybe I do. I was also told to just live.
I do to my standards. Everything I have done and will do, I
know I will never regret. So maybe because I think things
through a lot doesn't make me the most exciting person out
there, but I love my life to the fullest. If I'm here being
real with myself and getting out what's on my mind(even if
it's just in this diary), then I am living! I can't and
won't change for anyone. You either accept that or don't. I
no longer beg you to understand me when you never tried!

"I'VE MADE IT"
*J*