The Real Deal

Reality
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2002-01-04 21:02:56 (UTC)

I feel like the whole world is..

I feel like the whole world is against me... I dunno... I'm
trying to help all my friends... but it doesn't seem to be
working...

One of my friends is heartbrokened because of a mistake he
had done and now they cannot be together...

Another friend is upset because the first girl he ever
reallie cared about is moving away and some other problems
he is facing that I "don't understand"...

And my other friend who is having all kinds of boy
trouble...

All this... on me... I don't mind... but so much has
happened to them and I dunno what to do? I want to be able
to solve all their problems, but it's just hard... they
won't listen to what I have to say or just don't understand
what I am saying... I want to understand where they are
coming from... why won't they let me? I want to be able to
help... let me help...

*Sigh* I am swearing off of guys for now... because I want
to be able to move on before I can start anything... I just
want to be able to start something new without having this
old feeling... which I still have and it's still strong...
it's hard letting go...

I finally chose my ex... but it was too late... he didn't
want anything with me... he wants to concentrate on school
and stuff and I accept that... I'm reallie happie for him
actually... I want him to be happie... and I actually want
him to do what he loves doing... I want him to study and
work hard... because I know he's gonna be somebody... :)
Someone great... :) If I truly love him, I'd let him do
what he wants to do... because it's something he truly
wants to accomplish... he wants to concentrate on school
and that will help him a lot and I am totally going to
support him and not bother him with drama of love and
stuff... cuz he doesn't need that... he knows what he wants
and I'm happie for him. :)

I'm not going to deal with my love life... I just want to
concentrate on everything else. I have a job, I have
school, my clubs, and my life ahead of me... I'm going to
put love on hold, because it's going to wait and see what
happens.. so I'm not going to let it get the best of me...
I'm just going to see what happens... :)

Wish me Luck... :)


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