imationzim

for show and tell
2002-01-04 18:17:24 (UTC)

sick with insomnia

i slept over at valerie's house today, and i happened to
wake up at 3 am and be quite insomniatic for an hour or
so. i wrote in the dark this thing. i felt i had to write:

page 1-
front side:
"I awake at 3 am at Valerie's house, and have a need to
write... in the dark. I can barely see the writing I make,
much less see the paper itself. Now I know how it feels to
be Mayo's blind father; you write but cannot see the page.
If it seems as though I skip too much space, it is a good
thing. To make sure I don't write over the previous words
with the new line. I decided to stay awake to uphold my
distaste for sleep. I feel depressed, but cannot do a
thing about it. In the dark night, I make to much noise
writing. Come to think of it, there is too much noise in
my head. Though I wish for it to stay, it does get quite
frightening at times."

back side:
"Flipping the page over seems to make more noise than the
toilet did. The noise in my head tells me nothing new;
nothing I don't know. It gives me neither hope nor wisdom,
but it just there.. perhaps reminding me my brain is still
alive. Alive, and perhaps ill, what with so much noise.
The noise whispers nothing to me. It just speaks; in a
muffled monoural. Its hemal sound does nothing for me. I
feel my mind has been contaminated with sickness--not no,
not the doll. A sickness that is hopeless ans sad; a
sickness that rots my my mind; a sickness that causes
noise in my head.... I am rambling, like I always do, as
the noise takes over to write. I shall stop now. I hope to
be better in the morning."

on the side:
"I waited until 3:33 to stop staring at the clock, as I
had become hideously bored."

i feel sick...




Ad: