csadler

bored with life...or is it just my life :)

hi highs and low lows remember this...depression

am i the only one out there that is sick of doing the same
thing over and over and over again...i go to work saturday-
wednesday, do fuck all all day on thursday and friday and
maybe go out for a beer or watch wrestling at pat and kev's
on my "weekend"...and then i bitch about it on here. i
pity the fool who reads this. i was at my aunt and uncle's
for supper...i have absolutely nothign to talk about at
all...i'm like a fucking deaf-dumb mute, i'm about as
interesting as a stick. yes work sucks, yes i'm still
looking for a new job, and then we rumor about their
friends and then i go home. i got my christmas gifts from
my grandma and grandpa...i didn't have to be psychic to
predict that...labatt's blue hat, t-shirt and sweater.
they do nothing but go to the beer store i think. i look
at my surroundings and my routines and i just wanna
scream!! i know one day i will, but i pray it won't happen
for a while...have you ever seen that movie "american
beauty" i think it's called where the guy just snaps...and
there's another one with michael douglas (or is it kirk
douglas i can never remember) where he's stuck in traffic
and he goes bullistic and robs a store or something like
that. if that turns out to be me, you heard it here
first...lol. no i won't snap like that but like i said,
some days i just wanna scream and say "i've had enough" and
today won't be the day, but it could be...does that make
any sense? not is it only the routine that bores me, but
the realization that tomorrow is NOT going to be any
better...i will still live paycheque to paycheque, still
get no further ahead, etc. well dumbass, you're probably
saying, why not get off your ass and get ahead...no
energy/interest. some days i'd like just to go under the
covers and die...maybe today's that day too. and my whole
left hand is feeling numb...that can't be good...it's been
asleep for like 4 hours. great. the worst thing is that i
have no sex drive, no drive to get up, no drive to do fuck
all...i don't want to go to sleep though because i know i
wake up and it'll be tomorrow and it'll be one day closer
to saturday...i just wanna cry but i don't have any reason
to :(

and tonight's song is "angel" by jimi...hey angel, come
down spread your wings on me and fly me away too :)

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ANGEL by jimi hendrix
-----------------------------------------------------------

angel came down from heaven yesterday
she stayed with me just long enough to rescue me
and she told me a story yesterday
about the sweet love
between the moon and the deep blue sea
and then she spread her wings high over me
she said she's going to come back tomorrow

and i said fly on, my sweet angel
fly on through the sky
fly on my sweet angel
tomorrow i'm gonna be by your side

sure enough, this morning came on to me
silver-winged silohoutte against a child's sunrise
and my angel, she said unto me
'today is the day for you to rise
take my hand, you're gonna be my man
you're gonna rise"
and then she took me high over yonder, lord

and i said fly on, my sweet angel
fly on through the sky
fly on my sweet angel
forever i will be by your side