I Debbie...
2001-04-10 18:35:31 (UTC)

God's Gift

You are never going to believe this. I got out of the house
after going to the mailbox,calling the bank,getting things
straightened out and applied for a job at Varsity Club. Then
I went to Git'n Go for the Sunday paper. Lo and behold there
were plenty. Kind-of strange since today is Tuesday. When I
got home there was a message on my machine from Zales and
they wanted me in for an interview. I am going in on
Thursday at 1pm to meet with Laura the manager. Talk about
signs from heaven. I thought to myself,"!". I
always get some sort of a sign when I need it the most. Like
my endurance and emotion paves a way into what resources I
have that are untapped and I get a jump-start in my life. I
am going to keep on it,too. This reinventing yourself, like
Farrah,is going to be my inspiration. I can't worry about
Brian I can only take care of my self and my needs. I need
to be out there. I need to be able to take care of myself
and my needs and not worry about others expectations of me
or what I should do. Jo is a perfect example. She wants me
to do Mary K and go to work at the hospital making the money
she makes. What if it isn't right for me. What if it isn't
what I feel I should be doing. Brian's parents and mine too
will say, Poor Debbie, Always working on weekends. These are
their expectaions, not mine. Wjhy do I feel the need to meet
what they want for me. It is like I am back in nursing
school and I shouldn't and won't go through that kind of
private hell again. I know that with God's help ALL things
are possible. With His stregth and love I will persevere.
There is a higher being. I must stay on track this time.
Maybe I can use this part-time job to make payments to
Jeff(Alyssa's) for the car. What a break that the place is
just about next door in the mall and therefore so close to
home. I could really rake it in if I play my cards right. I
could swear that they work on commission and a base pay,too.
God,...feed my soul with your courage and holiness. Help me
motivate myself so that I can remain on the path that will
enable me to take control of my own destiny that You in your
infinite wisdom have carved out for me. You have been there
for me in so many ways and in so many times when I have not
felt deserved of such. But You have shown me lights and
mercy that are unhampered. Please continue to bless me by
giving me the little miracles of life such as life. And
thank You for showing me that at least You answer and hear
me when I truely need help and reassurance.
And with this ......I Debbie