ViCtiM oF ReaLiTY
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2002-01-03 20:33:09 (UTC)

The daYs of the PhoEniX

Yeah, so New Year's Eve turned out totally different
than i thought it would. Paulina couldn't go, of course, so
like 2 hours before we left Chris called me, which was
weird cuz everyone else was telling me that i should bring
him with us. so we talked and he wasnt doing anything so i
told him to go with us. well, we missed Authority Zero cuz
they played @ 8:00, and we got there at like 9:30 so me and
Chris just kinda chilled cuz we couldnt find The Edge stage
and that was where Trip Turner was playin so we missed it.
I was kinda pissed cuz nothin happened between me and Chris
the whole time, but by the end of the night when we were
driving home he grabbed my hand in the car and held it the
whole time. i looked over at him and he gave me "that look"
like he used to do when we were together and i was just
kinda like "w/ the fuck?...." so ya.

oh, and then the next day, Tuesday he called me at
like 11:30 a.m. and told me to get ready cuz we were going
to the movies and i was sooooo tired cuz i hadnt gone to
bed till like 3:30 am, so i was all tired and stuff. so we
went and got in for free and we saw Lord of the Rings and
he did the whole hand thing again and i guess he just
really likes my hands a lot cuz he was playing with them
the whole 3 hours we were watchin the movie. then we went
and saw How HIgh riht after that and he looked at me and
smiled and i dont really member waht he said but he was
like "do u want to get back together?" and i just looked at
him and smiled and i was like "i thought u just wanted to
be friends" cuz that was what the bastard told me when he
wanted to supposedly stop seeing me, so we kissed and it
was pretty cool, i guess....

Then on Wednesday, we went and chilled
at the mall and saw A Beautiful Mind (confusing as hell!!)
and he asked me again if i wanted to get back together with
him and i was like "well do u want to?" (i honestly dont
know why i kept avoiding saying anything) and he was
like "yeah!" so i was just like "yeah, kinda", which wasnt
even an official "yes". so i think were back together again
now, which is what i really wanted before, but i dont know
why i dont care as much now. He really wants this to work
out though cuz he's cutting down his hours, a lot, so he
can spend more time with me, which is sooo sweet. oh, and
he's like "im getting a car soon too!" which is probably so
we can go out a lot. i dont know why i always find the good
guys, i guess im just lucky.

EWWWW!!!!!! i got sooooooo grossed out yesterday though
because of Brian. HE called me up and we talked for awhile
and then he was like "did Kat tell u the good news?" and i
was like nawww...... and he was like "im bi!" and i was
like "oh?....." (i didnt know if i should be happy for him
or what) and then right after that, he was like "so, are u
seeing anyone?....." and i freaked out!! i was
like "oh! ya! i met this guy, oh and im back with Chris
too!" im srry, Brian, but ur just Not My Type.
hes a cool friend, but i just dont find myself physically
attracted to him AT ALL. eh,..... so diStURbIng...... so
that is what has been going on the past few days for me.

La la la .... AFI is such a good band. i luv em. Davey,
Jade, Hunter, Adam.... i love u guys! u've always been
there for me... well later.