of little importance
Ad 2:
2002-01-03 16:07:15 (UTC)

as reruns all become our history

i am tired.

new year's was a blast. allen and i talked forever and i'm
sure we would still be conversing now if the party had
lasted that long. neither one of us got any sleep. i
tried, but it was futile. he's going through so much
wrenching pain right now. he just wanted to hold someone.
so i let him. it felt so right. and it was good to feel
needed. and i needed to be held too i think.

lin got wasted. she tried to apologize for it, but didn't
know what she was apologizing for. um, let me think about don't think so. grow up first, then get back
to me, k?

adam doesn't seem to want anything to do with me so
whatever i'm out of the picture until further notice.

but my rent's been paid you can't evict me from your life
so just for today i'll say goodbye
but i'll be back
to see you
and i'll come back
to heal you
just tell me when and the room is yours free food and board
and tomorrow when you're hurting i'll be there
and you'll be back
to see you
and you'll be back
to heal you

bry and may are no more. he's doing ok. i think he wants
to try and see if we'll work again, but no. i don't want
that. we're better off as friends.

i was thinking what it would be like if allen and i dated
again. but i don't think that would be a good idea. he
needs stability right now. and i don't know if i am
attracted to him like that. our friendship is very stable
and seems to be what he needs. i'm here for him to lean on
as needed. i need that friendship from him too. i need
that stability.

and as for any relationship with anyone right now...i just
don't think i'm ready. i've got a lot on my plate and it's
gonna be awhile before it gets put in the dishwasher. i've
gotta put it down the garbage disposal first, but that
requires turning it on. so if something comes up, then
maybe...but i'm not gonna try and make anything happen
right now.

metaphorically speaking i am a metaphor