Visions Of Life
2002-01-03 05:30:33 (UTC)

2 Days.. Clean And Free.. *laughs*

Its been two days since I have worked on my webpage.. The
addiction is releasing its hold on me.. *laughs* I finally
figured out how to create my lil boxes and now I dont want
them. Isnt that how life is.. You want something.. crave
it, dream about but once you posess it, you dont want it

Fuck.. I need to quit drinking.. Lol.. I never drink but
this strawberry vodka has trapped me in its evil web..
Lol.. Its sooo yummy! Tastes like that Canadian Clear
Flavored Water shit but is 70 proof.. *laughs* Waaaay 2
addicting.. At least the bottle will be gone soon.. lol
I really hate drinking tho.. I hate it when my mind getsall
fuzzy.. No fun.. How can I plot when my mind is out of
order? lol.. Plus it makes me ultra horny and that just
isnt good.. lol

And Now.. My Current Relationship Views And Status..

Hmmm.. I think that I may want to start dating again.. Have
I lost my mind? Yes.. But it is in the maybe stage.. I dont
know if I can actually deal with dating.. Way too
afraid..Plus I am kinda still in love with another..(yes, I
can love, despite what I sometimes say.. I am not the
coldhearted bitch I sometimes make myself out to be.. Sure,
I sometimes need to prick my finger to make sure Im alive
but for the most part, I can feel and love)But we shall see
what the next few weeks bring...

Right now I have no actual relationships.. Have a few
potential boyfriends(ones i might actually date.. one in
particular..)... Have a few guys who actually want to date
me.. Im not sure what is wrong with them.. lol Makes me
wonder what kind of drugs these people are on and why they
arent sharing.. I mean, who would want to date me? Im a
raving psycho.. A slave to the word and the blade.. I am
not stable nor sane..But people are crazy..