DistortedVisionary

From A Great Height
2002-01-03 01:57:10 (UTC)

Introduction/ De$ire

Well, for those of u who don't know me...my name is Justin
and well.....This diary will serve as an outlet for my
creative ability as well as for me to spread
my "propaganda."....If I can reach just one person with my
work....I'll have done my job. Well the first work I'm
going to share with you all is one of my prized little
babies....a rant called De$ire.......

"When there is no pain, there is neither the reason nor the
desire to think or create."
-A Joyful Guide to Lachrymology

"Desire" Part I

As we stand at the crest of a new generation, I attempt to
gather my thoughts on the world that circles around me,
release hope and fear in a swirl of agonizing ecstasy. I
observe my fellow contemporaries with growing contempt,
seeing them trade in their souls for a chance to be an
intrical part of the oppressive system known as everyday
society. They stand in a never-ending line, preying upon
each other's insecurities for a fleeting chance to escape
their tedious position within the formation. Mind you, I am
not merely an observer of this sickening cycle, but an
unwilling participant in its twisted scene of social
conformity. I am the product of a self delusional "human"
machine, destined to wallow withing the mounting despair of
my fragile psyche. That is my place within the
formation....I must learn to accept.....
BUT I CAN NOT! Blessed with the ability to understand
things on a higher level than the plastic landscape of
conventional knowledge, I must speak out with the rage
instilled in me by generations and generations of mindless
bullshit. I need to release my growing frustration with
the "status quo" in an attempt to crack the corrupt
foundation society builds itself upon. In conventional
wisdom, I am but one mind and one body. Yet, in truth, I am
much more than such a simple being. I am the embodiment of
a human trait so revered, people have surrendered their
souls for a trickle of its sweet nectar. I am freedom. I
speak without inhibition. I move without restriction. I
think without boundaries. I feel without caution. In
theory, I am but a shell, sent to live the pointless
existence laid out for me by the cycle. Yet what I say,
what I do, and who I have become have lifted me from such
ritualistic aspirations.....I am desire incarnate.
As I sit in the watchtower of my mind, I observe the
emotionless machine in full effect. People touch without
feeling. They speak without insight. They live without
knowledge. They are but pawns in a cosmic game of
amusement, sacrificed for the so-called "cause". They feel
faint tinges of life, unintentional sparks in an otherwise
drab machine. Yet these sparks quickly burn out, leaving
them uninspired and back within the formation. Why do they
allow their souls to be manipulated so easily? Why can't
they see a world away from their "iron lung?" Away from
the "life support" which animates them just enough to find
comfort in an unfulfilled existence. Why this is, I have no
answer. I do not understand why they cannot breathe on
their own, seperate from the contraption which consumes
their individuality. Maybe satisfaction in complacency is a
gift, given so people can escape the reality of their
actions. Of why their journies never reach their
completion. If this is so......i'm grateful to have been
denied of such a priviledge. I cannot sit and stare as the
cycle unfolds, consuming me within its cold and heartless
structure. I am proud to allow myself to explode, sending
shockwaves of truth and clarity to those who surround
me......I am proud to be the exception.....





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