Nick's Journal
2002-01-02 22:44:53 (UTC)

My favorite books

After having gone to the mall, walmart, and various other
stores to battle through the atrocious masses of
meandering monkeys to get my gifts, I've decided that a
service to enlighten the general public is direly needed.
So here are some great books, and monkey man in front of
me at babbage's, i had the last copy of chessmaster 6000
wayyyyyyyyyyy before your, sloping foreheaded, deformed,
inbred, dickless, spineless, body even found out how to
work the garage door opener to get the fuck out of your
rathole of a home. So i got it fair and square. You may
want to read these books, that is after you get the rack
of cheat guides unlodged from your bulbous anus.
I don't know in what order I shoudl put them but here we
1. Sun Tzu - Art of War
2. J.D. Salinger - Catcher in the Rye
3. Daniel Jonah Goldhagen - Hitler's Willing Executioners
4. Machiavelli's Prince
5. Umberto Eco - The Name of the Rose.

Alright, that's no particular order but let me put it this
If you read two books in your life make them #s 3 and 5.
Even if you're not a WW2 aficionado as I am # 3 is the
most amazing non-fiction book i've ever read. Goldhagen
presents an amazingly sensitive topic, and absolutely
beats the shit out of it. He proves his point so outright
that you absolutely can't dispute it. At least in my
opinion, if you don't share this opinion that's okay, it
just means that you're a fucking idiot.
# 5 is the sweetest "modern" book out there (next to
catcher in the rye). The reason I advocate this one
instead of catcher in the rye is A.) every dumbshit has
probably read catcher in the rye, and B.) most people who
have moved on from the primate stage can understand
catcher in the rye, which in my opinion is why it's so
great, and once again if you don't agree it's cos you're a
fucking idiot. But The Name of the Rose is incredible in
its range of language, its style, and more than anything
its brilliant story.
Now there are many more books/plays/etc. that one could
read. For example "Othello" and enjoy the amoral,
nefarious, Iago, or "Murder on the Orient Express", which,
the ending of that one, kicked my ass 100 yards.
So I'm done acting like a
snobby, "elitist", "smart", "intellectual". I put the 3
last ones in quotes cos i'm neither of those. I isn't no
smarter dan de mazzes. I wahnt yu tu b as smhart as I b.