psychomagnet

argh.

Matt took some girl to gus's on new years eve. I'm okay
with that. in naomi's journal she was like talking about
everyone staying at gus's and shes like katie and brian and
dawn and gus were all making out and matt brought some
girl... i'm okay with that right? no. the german girl?
retalitation game? im okay with this. i definetely should
be. agghh. i cant wait to get away from him, when i dont
have to see him or hear about him anymore ill be soo much
better.

So back to new years eve yeah it sucked it fucking sucked hardcore...
way worse than last year... all year i've been saying oh i'm never
going to feel like that again and here it is a year later and its
worse. before it started sucking we went to universal and i saw
josea and ty and my baby carl =) he's my old guy, but they were all
people who were dealing with me LAST year when i was puking and
crying and passing out every day so it didnt bring back many good
memories... it sucked so bad... so so bad... then when i woke up
the next day i was really really sick, they had turned off
my phone i guess and caroline had come over and called and
gone home cus it was off, we went to friendlys ashley came
which was good i needed to see her she should have been
upset i think but she wasnt she is so strong i hate her
girlfriend a lot she doesnt deserve to feel like this. i
went home and slept caroline came over around 4;30 she
called into work and brought me soup and medicine and stuf
and she took care of me all night shes so great i dont want
to fight or be upset about shit anymore you know. this
morning we went to the store and got more soup and a
sandwich and more medicine and came back and slept til she
had to go to work at 4 and now i really want to get out of
this house but i dont feel like doing much of anything. i
have to go back to work tomorrow which sucks a lot but
caroline starts monday=) which is good. 5 more days til
school. i want to go see rent this month in clearwater or
jacksonville.
im guna apply at ucf really soon. i got a 1360 on my SATs
which is good i think good enough anyway. if i get
accepted to ucf, i can move out there this summer. if i
go to valencia i cant move out because mom doesnt want me
to, but ucf is a LONG drive and maybe then she'll let me
on good terms. anyway i think she made me some food so im
guna go eat and go back to bed or find something to do.