*ALL CRIED OUT OVER U*
BETTER LATE THAN NEVER!
2002!!!! 2002!!!!!! 2002!!!!!!! 2002!!!!!!! 2002!!!!!! WHAT
YEAR IS IT???? 2002!!!!!!!!! Well, this is going to be
long because I'm going to review 2001 and talk about what
all I did to bring in the New Year.
Okay, 2001.....man, it went by sooo fast to me. Some things
I don't really remember about it because most things are a
blur. I guess the first thing I can talk about is how I've
changed as a person. I think in the beginning of 2001 I
began my whole nonchalant phase. Still now, I don't really
care. I've realized that being real is more for me. I hated
the fake acting and smiling that I did for a lot of people.
Now, if I'm not happy, then you'll know. I've learned that
pleasing self is more important than anything. I do for
myself before I do for anyone else. I have to get mine too!
I've went from being kinda naive to now knowing what it's
all about. As for me still loving Leroy, I still do. I can
honestly say that when 2002 came to be, he was on my mind.
It was a brief second, but he did cross my mind. Last year,
he was on my mind and definitely for 2000 he was on my
mind! Speaking for 2002, I see us being good friends. We
ended the year this way.....might as well continue it. For
so long he had my heart. No matter what dude came along and
no matter how much I told myself that I had to let him go,
I couldn't do it in the past. Now I see it for what it
really is! I care about that boy a lot. I love being around
him more than I do anyone else. I guess love is going to
always be in my heart for him, but I don't want to be with
him.....ever! Me and Leroy never belonged together. What we
have now is perfect for us. I don't feel that I'm letting
go of my standards by letting what happens, happens. I know
I'm going to soon have sex with Leroy. It's gonna happen
soon. It's something I want to do because it's how I feel
it should happen. Jacan gets mad at me because she says she
doesn't want me to just be another name on Leroy's list. I
know that should be something I think about, but it isn't.
I'm doing it for myself. If it does happen like that, then
dang....that's fucked up. Right now, it doesn't seem like
it will happen that way, but maybe I'm not seeing truth.
Don't know! I'm just trying to get me some! But anyway,
2001 was pretty good to me. I don't really remember too
much drama going on. It was a pretty laid back year.
Okay.....how 2002 came to me! Well, I went to Atlanta with
Dee, Faris, and Travis. I had a pretty good time. We went
to the Peach Drop, to Buckhead, and club BOUNCE. I met a
lot of people....boys that is! I just see it being like
this....if me and Dee end up in Atlanta, then we will have
a lot going for ourselves. I know nothing comes for free,
but I think me and Dee can whip the game and get around it.
People always say there's a price for everything, but there
is some kind of way to work around it. Who knows! But
anyway, I think the highlight of the nite was going to the
club. I met a lot of dudes. Me and Dee were dressed from
neck to toe....not showing anything. Most of the females
there were half naked. They had sandals on! But anyway, the
fact that me and Dee were getting major pull and didn't
have to be half naked.....I take great pride in that. That
says that me and her had more going for ourselves than just
showing skin like most of those broads. The only thing I
regret about the whole thing is that I passed up a chance.
Okay, I met a lot of dudes that nite, but I only met one
BALLA! Me and Dee were standing in one spot and some song
came on and I started dancing, so this dude came up to me
and was like, "That's the first time I've seen you dance
tonite......You and your friend have a lot of class about
yourselves, what school do you go to?" Well, I have rules.
I don't lie about my age. I told him I was in high school.
Now, I gained a lot of respect for this dude because he
told me that he was 23. Most dudes that age would have
continued to holla because they would have thought that I
was naive, but he didn't see that. He gave me a hug and
wished me a happy 2002 and told me that I should find an up
and coming balla because there were plenty in the club. He
said that there would be one dude that would be right for
me. He said more than that, but I don't feel like typing
all of it. I just thought that was soooo cool of him. The
fact that he was being like that big brother figure and he
didn't even know me like that was so real to me. That's the
kind of niggas I need on my team. If I would have chose to
lie about my age, then I know I would have been in for a
treat. The dude was like 6'3, a good size, he was dressed
nice, and he was blinging!!!! Damn, I should have been
like, "I may be young, but you can be the nigga to teach me
a few things." If I would have been drinking, then that
would have been something I would have said. I think he
played football for GA Tech because this other dude that
tried to talk to me said he went to GA Tech and he was
pretty big....I know he played football....anyway, I saw
them talking and showing each other love as though they
were teammates or something. I'm not sure though. That's
the only thing I regret about the one nite. I wish it would
have went down some other way. But anyway, the club is not
for me because I don't think it's a positive black
atmosphere. It's a good place to meet other people, but
it's for all the wrong reasons. I can't even count how many
times my butt was touched. Okay, is this a new thing....to
grab a female in her private area? What is that suppose to
prove. That's why the club is not for me! Black males
shouldn't be disrespecting their black females like that.
Especially if she has class about herself. I won't be doing
a lot of clubbing in the future. My first hours of 2002
were good. I know the rest of my year is going to be good.
I won't have it any other way!