Make it stop...
I have such a crush on Jack. Everytime I'm with Josh just
about, I wish Jack would come over...last night, when Josh
went down on me and I climaxed, I was thinking about Jack.
That's awful I know. But I can't help it. It's just
something I want to explore. I'm not going to, it would be
stupid as hell. I know I'm very lucky with my relationship.
There isn't anyone who would treat me as sweetly.
So I went over last night. Josh had a split lip from
slapboxing with Jack...they made a video of it. It was just
a playing thing. We went to see it in this guys room and
you know who was there...drunk as hell, like always when I
see him. He was dancing around in a funny way, but sexy too.
Wearing a cowboy hat. He has a tattoo of a naked woman on
Josh said later that he was going to talk to him about his
drinking problem. That's a good idea, I told Josh to try to
get him to stop drinking hard alcohol at least.
We were all going to the same place and I offered that we
should go together but Josh said no...
We went out to eat and tried to go to town to see the
fireworks but could not find a place to park anywhere, so
we gave up, bought some beer and went back. We ended up
going up to the roof to see the fireworks all around, and
kissed at midnight. It was very romantic, not that I
usually fall for that shmaltzy stuff. It was real nice
I don't know how to stop crushing on his friend though.
It's so wrong but I can't help it. Hopefully this will
resolve itself, and not in a bad way. Maybe if we really
get to talking I won't like him as much anymore.