Recover300

Restoration
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2002-01-01 19:22:14 (UTC)

Must Read All Ladies

I am asking that you read because this journal has proven
to be therapudic in my case. I would feel so much better
if I knew I was sparing some other lady this same pain that
I feel. I was a good girl,happy childhood and had most of
the things that I desired - I had a strict dad who loved me
a lot and tried to teach me many things - he taught me who
to stand on my beliefs to be strong and not to give in to
non-sense, he tried to teach me about the opposite sex and
culture, mannerism and charm. I had a compassionate mother
who supported me financially, mentally, spiritually and so
on. She taught me how to love with sincerity. The two
made a pretty good combination. So I thought. This goes
to show no matter how good parents are or how bad they are
it is totally up to us how we want to become or who we
are. They do influence us but we make the ultimate
decisions.

I went to church a pretty good school and think that I had
all the proper tools to make it in life. Have you ever
heard the saying "Opposites Attrack?" I do not know how
true this really is but it is an excuse used often or some
type of justification. Good girls fall for bad guys
thing. Well it is perceived as cute when we are young but
then we grow up if this frame of mind continues then what
happens to the cuteness - it fades to reality. Yes, to
what is real. Some of us play with fire and we like it hot
and then all the smoke goes away and the flame dwindles and
now we do not even have a spark nothing more than the
feeling of pain from the burns of life that we have caused
ourselves. If you love dangerously it will bring forth
pain. I fell for a guy - who was viewed as a rough neck.
Here it is I went to school, college for Criminal Justice
and turns out I am in love or lust with an ex-con who is
rebellious but because he had the right words I am there.
I not only go against my very own mind, all the things that
I have learned - the bible and so on. I court this guy and
then guess what I have a child by him out of marriage what
was I doing - I truly moved on a bridge and fail to see I
was not going anywhere. I then tried to make matters
better and married him. I am hurting so much. I know, I
know when I talk to others they say you do not know this
guy my guy is better he would never hurt me... well I am
writing this because I am only asking for you to pay close
attention to the decisions you make in life for the ones
you make right now, right now today and the next will
effect you big time. I am going to go right now but I am
have so much more, if you read it I hope you are able to
get something from it and apply and if you are a lot
smarter and aware of this then you are good you are great
but maybe someone isn't. Needless to say, I graduated from
college 3.8 gpa and could not be a Parole Officer - how
could I. Well until we meet again.

ouch.....


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