Tizzy

Happy New Year baby!!!

Though, this is posted for anyone to read--it's really
meant for only one person: Ro (smiles). And if you're
reading this Ro----WELCOME HOME BABY!!!!!

Let me give just a little background to bring everyone up
to speed.

I'm 39, female, bi-sexual and living somewhere in sunny
southern california. I've been online since 2/25/01. I
didn't really do much with this puter when I first got it--
well nothing except play games on it. But one day, out of
sheer boredom--and a lot of curiosity--I wandered into the
world of Chatrooms.

Now anyone who knows me, knows that I used to goof on
people who said they had friends online. I just couldn't
conceive of a friendship forged through a piece of office
equipment. It was inconceiveable to me. And chatrooms
were for pathetic people with no lives... I was merely
there as a curious spectator. But-- I quickly became
addicted to chats. I began visiting the same rooms, mostly
bi-sexual rooms... ventured out into other types of rooms
over time--music chats--poetry chats--general chats
mostly. But there was one chat on the list that always
caught my eye--- it was called "Rape Fantasy"

Now, I had heard of cyber-sex---even made a couple of lame
attempts at it myself with a few equally inept partners I
met in the bi chats. But this room--was like a magnet to
me. My curiosity got the best of me... and I entered.
Being a voyuer, and a bit of a perv by nature--I just
watched for a while. It was actually kinda boring--the
chat was pretty harmless... I had seen worse in the poetry
room. But I stayed and watched... then, I got a private
message--a whisper from someone in the room. It was Ro.

He told me he liked my nic...and we quickly began to chat
it up. I liked him immediately. He was funny, kinda poked
fun at me because I was in a rape room and told him it was
my first time... he sent me a link, I clicked on it and
there he was...in a picture. Somehow, I found myself
cybering with him-- my first cyber with a male. He was
good-- very good . We exchanged e-mail
addys, something that I SWORE I'd never do to someone I
didn't know.... He added me to his instant messenger...
(Another big no-no for me) And that was the beginning of
my first and only online friendship.

Fast forward to a few months later... I got to really
liking him-- I only had a few people on instant messenger,
and Ro was the only one that I had met online. And he was
Always on....lol. I never really hung out with him in
chats at all... just a couple of times. We mostly chatted
on IM... and we talked quite a bit sometimes, and sometimes
we wouldn't talk at all. But I liked having him there. He
was quirky and funny--always making me laugh... Great sense
of humor...he's very smart, very witty.

We began to get more personal with each other--exchanging
intimate details about our lives... he was pretty open
about himself-- I held back a bit. I was/am in a
relationship with a woman, I'll call "L". L never liked
the idea of me being online... she made it hard for me to
chat at times. Our relationship had been unstable, falling
apart really-- it still is. She's possesive, jealous, and
not above making her feelings known to me. I was not
allowed to voice chat, not allowed to have a cam nor a
scanner... not allowed to exchange pics or phone numbers to
anyone I met on the net. It isn't safe--she'd tell me.
Looking back, I think it was her own insecurity--and not my
personal safety she was trying to protect. But that's a
whole other story...

Hmmm.... this is taking longer than I expected. I'm kinda
hungry. I'll continue this later.... T