Thoughts and Feelings
2001-04-09 20:54:00 (UTC)

Another Day....

This is my first entry....It is such a beautiful day...I'm
mad that I couldn't enjoy it like I would like to. These
past few months haven't been the best months I have
experienced. I have no energy to do the smallest of tasks,
I'm not doing as good in school as I would like, and my
social life is how you say "non-existant". I have just had
this feeling of lonliness and confusion. I don't know where
my life is heading anymore and where I will end up when the
road ends. I'm soo afraid of what is to come..."everything
happens for a reason" is what my mother says and thats what
I am afraid of...Last night I woke up in the middle of the
night, I grabbed my walkman and just went for a walk. I
just love to do that, and last night was beautiful night. I
was listening to Penfold(they are a really good emo/pop
punk band...and I can't wait to see them in June). When I
listen to them I just feel really good. Student Rick and
Jimmy Eat World have the same effect on me...I really don't
know what it is that makes me feel better about myself,
maybe it's the emotional force that they create in thier
music, I love music that has meaning and
that just grabs you and pulls you into what the writer was
feeling at the time. Now don't get me wrong I love my
straight punk bands, it's just when I'm in a rut I just get
a kick out of listening to bands like that. Well I must