instinct

Differences
2002-01-01 15:55:00 (UTC)

Ever doubt what you say?

Have been itching to write something since the last time I
wrote something here.
One can say easily by words, how one person, one friend or
family is important to them. But how trueful the words are?
Not trying to tell you to doubt each word others say to
you, but to doubt what you say to others.
I have met a guy. Known him for more than 2 years. In love
with him for more than 2 years, and all these while he has
been in love with another girl for more than 4 years.
Recently, the girl left him. Heartbroken, he done many
crazy things alone. Boating, hiking, etc.
One day he went boating alone. My friend and I called his
mobile and no one answered. Till the night was here, my
friend still couldn't get hold of him. When I heard this, I
called him. I suprised myself. I didn't feel a sense of
urgency. I didn't feel I am going to lose someone
important. My friend who is also this guy's good friend of
many years, took a taxi and went to the boat site to look
for him. To this friend, the guy is important to him. Why
didn't I feel urgency at this time? Was he not important to
me?
I remembered once, I reached home expecting my mother to be
home. She was not. I felt urgent. Called her office many
times until the line finally went through and answered by
her colleague. When I was told my mother have left office,
I felt more worried. Of course, she came back ok.
But comparing the 2 experiences, I realised how important
people are to me. In my mind, I always thought he is the
love of my life. Never loved anyone more. But, why didn't I
feel anything when he went missing? Was it because I didn't
love him enough? Or was it because I believe he will be
okay?
Before we open our mouths to tell people how much we loved
them, or how important are them to us, think again.




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