Just a guy

Resolutions

Almost every year past that I can remember, I knew
someone who, or have made a resolution that didn't last
through the first week of the new year. Why do we continue
doing it anyway? Well, here is my theory:
Humans, just as all animals that are capable of
complicated thought, have an urge to better themselves in
some way. Even the most popular guy or girl at school have
something that they would change in an instant. But these
resolutions are promises to ourselves, that whatever the
goal that is set, we will not give up, we will keep our
chins up and brave the worst. This promise, although often
broken, gives us the deepest sense of hope. A hope not in
our world, or in others, but a hope that truly resides
within us, in our thoughts, our feelings and even the
uncharted territory of our souls.
All our lives we have gone through experiences in
which we are disappointed in our world and in our friends
and family, and over time, these constant disappointments
deminish our hope in those things. Yet one hope will always
survive, even in our darkest hour, the hope that I will
pull through. The hope that I will succeed in anything I
set out to do. That hope is all that some of us have to
survive on.
So it is here and now that I proclaim my resolution to
all who read this entry, in front of God and my computer I
promise to myself to become someone that myself as well as
others can respect. Not just in attitude, but in my
endevors throughout the rest of my life and in my physical
fitness and appearence. If a time should come where I am
tempted to go along another path, or if I I grow weary and
tired, I will look within myself, and pull every last ounce
of strength from my inner person. I will pull inspiration
from friends and from the fact that these measures will get
me closer to my goals in life. Also I will draw the most
strength from the person who already inspires me to try my
hardest, these steps will draw me closer to her, and
hopefully I will gain the self-confidence, not Courage, but
self-confidence needed to claim my love for her and stop
hiding it and forcing my feelings to live in the corners of
my soul, forever hiding in the shadows of my fear of
rejection.
So to all of you who read this, I say good luck to you
on your resolutions and have a happy New Year celebration.
I will go now and try to salvage what is left of this
holiday season, and I will hold my head up high and venture
out of the blur that is 2001 and onto the long uncertain
road that is 2002. Good night. Till next time.