imgodandyournot

harshmellow
2002-01-01 02:53:46 (UTC)

new years fun..

wow. another year has gone by. almost. quite a bit has
happened in the last year, most of it stuff i wish didn't,
stuff i'm trying my hardest to forget. it's not working.
but new years is a chance to start over, a new beginning,
right? so rather than dwell on the past, i will start
thriving on the future.. or something. yeah.
well it's new year's eve, and here i sit, coloring a fuzzy
poster. weeeeeee! i've got to make a crest for english
class, with a symbol on it representing juliet as a lover
or something. so i've picked a sun, which leaves me
coloring this stupid velvet/paper poster i picked up at wal-
mart. as much as i hate to admit it, it's actually kinda
fun lol. but the fun doesn't stop here. cause around 10,
we're gonna head over to my aunt's house. gosh golly gee,
my life is full of so fucking much excitement. how can i
stand it? actually, to answer my own question, i really
can't stand it. but here i am being negative again. i
should be BRIGHT and HAPPY! yay! i shouldn't have lied to
tim and told him i was busy tonight lol. i'm feeling like
i'm gonna end up regretting that decision.
i'm gonna be corny this year and make new year's
resolutions. cause quite frankly, i'm becoming quite a
pathetic person. a few changes for the better really
wouldn't kill me. so.. what could they be??
hmmmmmm.. first, i'm starting dance again. i don't care
what anyone thinks. if they wanna laugh at me cause i get
my ya-ya's out of putting on a leotard and dancing around
on my toes, then they can laugh. ballet is a beautiful art,
and fuck everyone who finds it amusing. cause i really
don't care. second, i want to put more effort into tkd.
i've really lost a lot of my skill from my sheer laziness.
and that's not cool. i could be good someday, but i'm
fucking myself over. and third, i want friends. this whole
no friends thing is really starting to catch up with me. i
get so lonely sometimes, which i really hate to admit, but
whatever. its true. ok, it's not like i literally have no
friends. but i'm not close with the ones i have, we only
talk at school, except maybe leah car and maybe shihab, and
i don't hang out with any of them except leah on very rare
occasions. and i'm kinda not that close with shihab
anymore, which i don't really mind, but it'd be nice to
have some other good friends. i'm young, i should be having
the best times, the golden times, of my life right now. but
i waste my days and nights moping about, sitting in my
room, hanging out with my cats and my family. how fucking
golden is that? so yeah, i'm pathetic, but at least i'm
trying.
wow. what else can i say? i have no one to talk to, so i'm
gonna just pour my pathetic thoughts into my lil online
journal thingy. great.
yesterday i went to leah's for nick's graduation party, it
was actually fun. the downstairs of her house is about as
big as our apartment, and there were tons of people there,
so it was kinda packed, but in a fun way. and her sister
cooked most of the food, she's a chef, there was some damn
yummy food there. and it's always fun to actually hang out
with someone my age, rather than my cousins or my mom.
plus, nick was there of course, and i knew he's hot, but
her other brother jeremy was there too, i think he's 28?
maybe.. but.. wow. wow wow wow. and this guy chad that he
brought home.. holy shit. hotness. chad kinda looked like
frank paul. why does frankie have to be my cousin? damn.
not fair. but ugh. this is turning into a ditsy guy-
obsessed rambling, and my mom's getting kinda itchy to go
over to lynn's ((well lucky her, she gets to get drunk, no
wonder she wants to go)) so i'm gonna end this, peace for
now.
-j




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