Christine

Wow.. New Years Eve.. Get Out The Fuckin Shot Glasses.. Lol

Dont mind me.. swimming in a strange pool of anxiety.. Not
sure why.. Manifistation of something, perhaps? Hmmmm..
Life seems a bit out of control.. Its in control but.. i
dont know.. i cant explain this growing anxiety.. Maybe it
is because my dad is in town..

Wee, I tried calling my brother many times.. We havnt
talked since June of 2000 because of some dumb reason. Ive
left messages but I guess he is ignoring me because he
hasnt called yet.. Hmm.. But such is life.. Everyone leaves
me in the end.. It is my destiny..

Tonight.. My plans are the usual.. hanging out.. getting
drunk off my fuckin ass and sleeping.. At least I have
company.. As long as you drink with someone, its okay.. or
something weird like that.. I just dont know.. Im not a big
drinker.. Alcohol is the tool of something.. Not the
devil.. Ah fuck.. again I just dont know.. This is what I
get for writing at 4am..

Hmmmm.. My mind is working in mysterious ways.. I am now
completly mesmerized by the moon. I was driving the other
night and was captured in the moons sweet embrace.. which
would be wonderful except I was driving...

The other oddity in my mind.. weird thoughts.. I dont think
its a vision but I just dont know.. Normally I can tell but
this one is just odd.. Came when i was driving.. Basically
telling me that something is going to happen on one of my
early morning darkness walks.. Hmmm.. I wont go into
details but the thought was not pleasant..

I am going on a mini roadtrip in 2 weeks.. Yay!! Drivin to
Utah! *laughs* Thank goodness I get to get out of this damn
state.. Wish i was going to Vegas.. lol.. well i will go
when i elope.. *laughs*

Okay.. I think I have covered everything.. alcohol..pseudo-
visions...Utah...the moon...brother/father.. Yep.. Guess
thats it..

Update on my madness.. Right now.. no longer depressed.. no
longer happy.. I just exist.. nothing more.. nothing
less... soon that will change.. Give it a few hours.. a few
shots and some sleep...and maybe some kinky handcuff fun..
*giggles*