Sunday Dec. 30,2001
*Wearing: A white/red/black Bulls jersey that is
reversible... and white shorts
*Jewelry: tha usual
*Hair: down with a bandana holdin back my bangs
*Listenin to : random songs from my cd player.. yet again
its on shuffle
*Eating/Drinkin: nutting/ bout to get sum Pepsi
*Song of the day : Still Waiting-Prince
*Weather: Tha weather has been cold and sunny
*Talking to : no one I have my away message on
*Mood: eh... confused as hell
*Thinking: Damn I need to get over Andria
Omg... I never knew how much I miss talking to her... and
it been only 2 days... She was on tha phone wit me on
Friday night/Early Saturday mouring... till like 3:30am...
and her mom caught her and grounded her off everything for
a week :( :( Damn there goes one of tha people I can talk
to :( :( :(
Andria stayed tha night last night... and I gave her tha
poems... she read them... but didn't say anything... as
matter of fact she just kept talkin bout other people that
she likes... I don't understand why she likes everyone but
me :( It really hurt me... I feel like my heart has been
torn out of my chest and was broken in front of my face...
then was thrown on tha floor... and I'm sitting here
looking at the pieces... trying to figure out of I should
pick them up or just leave them there laying on the
floor...I should've known not to like her... I told Josh
bout it... and he was trying so hard to make me feel
better... he was like "If she don't like u... then it's
obvious u deserve someone better" and he is right... it's
time for me to move on... and I know I can do it... I know
I can't stop thinking bout him.... I like him so much and
he knows that... we are going to meet one day I know it...
he is so much more then a friend for me... no matter what
is wrong with me... he can make me happy again... I wrote
him an email after I talked to him bout tha Andria thing...
here is what I wrote:
I just wanted to thank u..... for everything ...
it seems like I met u I have changed quite a bit....U make
me feel good about myself. To tell u tha truth no one else
can do that... U have also convinced me ... speak my mind
a lot more... For sumone I haven't met.... U have had quite
a big impact on me... I just hope that one day ... we could
possibly met so I can show u how much I really appreciate
you ... well I guess I shall go now ... since I'm sorta
running out of words to say So.... bye bye 4 now much luv
take care!!! Peace b wild!
I meant everything I said to... I mean yea he can be an
asshole sumtimes... but who isn't? Its like were so much
alike... see he has a hard time finding a gurlfriend
because they think of him as a brother, or he isn't their
type cuz he is built big... he's 6'3 a body like a rock...
and what can we say... he has to be big... with big hands
and everything... and I feel so bad for him... cuz I know
how he feels... I told him I had tha same problem with
guys... but they usually think I'm just flat out ugly...
and he was like I can't believe that... cuz your not...
thats another thing bout him... he accpects me for who I
am... and a lot of people have a hard time doing that with
me... but he does... so I dunno... I wanna go to Flor.
Damnit... But I don't even know what he looks like yet... I
gave him my addy so he could send me a pic... but I'm not
sure if he will or not.... I just have to wait and see...
Yeah u read that right... I had 3 viruses on my
computer...I upgraded my norton and it found 2 trojan
horses and tha so funny one... I *think* they are gone now
but I can't be sure... so if my computer goes down again...
I'm fucked... cuz my mom won't pay for it to get fixed
again.... so I dunno I'm not worried bout it anymore... as
long as I have Josh's number I'm happy....
~*~*THATS ALL FOLKS~*~*
Eh... I think that bout covers everything... if I forgot
anythin I will add it in later.... as of right now... i'm
just going to sit around tha house and be depressed... :(
So I'll catch ya later Diary...