this is my life
2001-12-31 02:38:09 (UTC)


well..i've been talking to jenny for a while. i don't
really know why. i'm over everything that happened. i
guess i can see us being friends again sometime in the
future. i don't know. we haven't talked about anything
serious..just jobs and guys..stuff like that. i want to
talk about more..but in don't know how to start it or what
to say or what she will say/think. i don't even know what i
want to say or what i think. i want her to know that i'm
over what happened, but i want her to apologize. i know she
did right when it happened..i just need it before we can
move on. i need to know she's serious. i don't even know
if she wants to be friends again, but i think she does. i'd
just like to talk about more than just chit chat you
know..but maybe that's asking too much..i mean we haven't
talked since june when all that stuff happened. i guess i
just need to relax and see what happens. i just want to
know. i don't even know how we would feel around each
other. or how we would act. i guess we'd all have to get
together..me jeb, jenny and karla to see how things go. i'm
just so antsy. this chit chat is killing me. we started
talking about the past..d.c. and stuff..i wonder where it
will go. things have definately progressed..i told her i'm
over what happened and we've been talking and stuff. it's
going good so far.

katatina001: hi jenny
katatina001: did you have a good christmas?
JLea16: hey, yeah i had a really good christmas
JLea16: how was yours?
katatina001: good
JLea16: whats up
katatina001: did you get jeb message?
JLea16: yes
katatina001: did you get anything good?
JLea16: ooh i got some awesome stuff a lot of fairy stuff
katatina001: jeb got me a diamond engagement ring ..i love
JLea16: ooh thats soo awesome!
katatina001: yea
katatina001: jeb me and bob all like your hair cut
JLea16: its gettin long again hehe
JLea16: but thank you
katatina001: mine too, thank god
katatina001: when did you get it done?
JLea16: um sometime after thanksgiving
katatina001: well i like it
katatina001: i don't know if karla told you or not but i'm
JLea16: again?
katatina001: yea..2 months..we got a sonagram the 27th.
JLea16: so is the wedding moved up again?
JLea16: i'm so proud of you both :-)
katatina001: we're shooting for march 16
katatina001: thank you..we were so excited when we found out
JLea16: what a great christmas present to you both :-)
katatina001: yes it was..we have pictures now
JLea16: awww
katatina001: my due date is august 2, 2002
JLea16: do you want a little boy or girl?
katatina001: well..we'd be happy with either of course, but
we both want a girl
katatina001: jeb's so excited when i get moody and sick
because that makes him more confident that everything is ok
JLea16: maybe you and morgan will have it around the same
katatina001: and my breasts have gotten HUGE
katatina001: yea maybe
katatina001: and sore
JLea16: soo karla has explained lol
katatina001: yea..i can't even fit into a shirt i got on
thanksgiving b/c my breasts have grown so much
JLea16: :-)
katatina001: so..how long have you worked at kirklands?
JLea16: um 4 months one month being manager
katatina001: you're a manager?
JLea16: yep!
JLea16: but i hate it
katatina001: wow..congrats..i got a promotion to lead sales
katatina001: why do you hate it?
JLea16: too much damn responsibility
katatina001: i see
JLea16: and not much of a pay raise
katatina001: really? i got a 1.50 raise and another 0.25 in
two months
katatina001: it's not too bad
katatina001: and forty hrs
katatina001: and benefits
JLea16: sweet
katatina001: yea..i accumulate sick days and vacation time
and everything..jeb's the receiving manager..he's under
me..he he
JLea16: its great having ppl under you...tell them what to
do and such..i just ahte closing
JLea16: *hate
katatina001: i don't have as much power as a dept.
manager..but i do have power over everyone in floral..which
i like
JLea16: cool
katatina001: i hear you were dating a guy named joch i
think..are you guys still together?
katatina001: josh
JLea16: yep yep :-)
katatina001: how long?
JLea16: remember daniel from project grad?
JLea16: 3 months
katatina001: oh..that's sweet
JLea16: very
katatina001: well..it looks like everything's going good for
you..i'm happy for you.
JLea16: thanks, and everything is looking up for you as
well...aww i'm soo happy for ya!
katatina001: thanks
katatina001: things are going good
JLea16: does karla know yet that your preg again?
katatina001: yea..i told her first..then bob, then my
mom..then after the sonogram we told other people at work
and what not
JLea16: good good
katatina001: yea..she said somehting about getting a tattoo
with me or something and i was like..well..i can't really do
that for a while..and she figured out why
JLea16: working on #5 hehe
katatina001: geeze..i can't keep track
katatina001: i'm happy with my 2
katatina001: did you ever get a tattoo?
JLea16: i want a couple more
katatina001: what do you have?
JLea16: yeah when kar got her thing on her ankle erik and i
got one too
katatina001: what?
JLea16: the day after she got her tongue thing
katatina001: no..what do you have a tattoo of?
JLea16: the chinese symbol for love
JLea16: i couldnt find a faerie i liked they were all nakie
katatina001: oh..where did you get it..
JLea16: my hip area
katatina001: that's cool..any piercings..your tongue
JLea16: no noo..i was more affraid when karla was getting
hers done then she was lol
katatina001: she was what?
katatina001: oh..i get it
JLea16: yeah ahh scary
katatina001: yea..jeb wants that done and i've wanted it for
a while, but i don't have the balls
katatina001: i was so surprised karla did it
katatina001: we got a new dog..poor elwood got dognapped
JLea16: yeha i would love to have it done..but like you i
have no balls...ouch
JLea16: aww oh no :-(
JLea16: what kind do you have now?
katatina001: yea..we called everywhere and left our number
and this lady called us and said she found a beagle..it
wasn't elwood..but we took her anyway..her name's lucy..we
got her 2 days ago
JLea16: aww
katatina001: yea..she had asthma i think..she wheezes all
the time..and snores..oh my gosh
JLea16: awww
katatina001: yea
katatina001: we got those pictures developed from d.c. where
you and bob are licking the penis of a statue
JLea16: lol i honestly dont remember that one
katatina001: we do..remember the smelly..smelly hitch
JLea16: yeah i got mine bach a loong tiem agoi have a few of
jeb and bob wrestling by the water fountains and the cop in
the backgroud
JLea16: ewww yes!
katatina001: poor einstein's dead, but jeb's getting the
same car..just in white..and naming him einstein, too'
JLea16: i heard :-)
katatina001: i miss einstein
JLea16: awww
katatina001: but i guess the time of einstein was a whole
nother time for all of us
JLea16: how did he die
JLea16: yeah
katatina001: no window..no door..no tire..mildew
everywhere..she can be repaired..it's just cheaper to get a
new one
JLea16: very true
katatina001: during the time of einstein we were in
school..we were going to d.c. getting drenched in a
fountain..just everything was different
JLea16: yes it was.
JLea16: good times good times
katatina001: yea..i miss it sometimes
JLea16: me too.
katatina001: i've thought about that a lot lately..i guess
since i saw you in kirklands
katatina001: and so has jeb
katatina001: all the good times we all had together
JLea16: i know isnt that wierd like i thought i was past
that point in my life and when i saw you guys i just missed
katatina001: so did we
katatina001: it was weird..i was going to go buy something
just to talk to you, but you went the other way so i figured
you didn't really want to talk to me
JLea16: honestly i was affraid
katatina001: really
JLea16: yes
JLea16: i wasnt sure if you guys wanted to see me or
whatever..so i jsut kinda stayed out of your way
katatina001: the time after that jeb asked if you were
working just so he could talk to you
JLea16: i guess i wasn't working?
katatina001: no
JLea16: hmm
katatina001: yea
katatina001: i was hoping you were working the day i saw
you, too.
JLea16: that would have made my day :-)
katatina001: really?
JLea16: pethetic huh lol
katatina001: not at all..i would have really like to talk to
you..jeb, too
JLea16: :-)
katatina001: jeb is here and he agrees..i'm not just saying
how he felt
JLea16: oh ok i wasnt sure
katatina001: he thought you might not have been
JLea16: soo...
katatina001: hi jenny its me jeb
katatina001: so what?
JLea16: hey there
katatina001: that's it from jeb
katatina001: soo what?
JLea16: i just siad that cause i didnt know what to say and
didnt want you all to think i was blowing you off
katatina001: oh i understand..i get the same way only i say
JLea16: hehe :-)
katatina001: yea
katatina001: ha
katatina001: but..i mean you have to expect this to be a
little awkward..we haven't spoken in months
katatina001: 6 months..and we didn't really leave on a good
note either
JLea16: very true...honestly i didnt even expect this
JLea16: not at all.
katatina001: me neither
katatina001: not even a little bit.. but i'm glad it
JLea16: me too
katatina001: really?
katatina001: i was a little nervous
JLea16: definitly
katatina001: actually a lot nervous
JLea16: aww
JLea16: affraid i was going to be some hanus bitch
katatina001: i don't know..afraid you didn't want to talk to
katatina001: i didn't really know what would happen
JLea16: yeah i wasnt sure of your and jebs intentions
JLea16: still not that sure but i think now more positive
then negative
katatina001: i don't really know why i started talking to
you..i'm over what happened..i guess i just couldn't live
with you thinking i hated you or somehting..i couldn't let
things keep being how they were..
katatina001: i just needed to know if we'd be able to talk
JLea16: and do you now know your answer
katatina001: starting to..i know we can talk online about
chit chat and we can talk about the past..that's a good
start..what are you thinking?
JLea16: i agree
JLea16: that its a good start not too ackward
JLea16: or for me at all
katatina001: yea..i'm glad we can talk..i wanted to talk
about more than just chit chat but i was a little afraid
to..i didn't really know what would happen
katatina001: but it's olk now
katatina001: ok
JLea16: which i feel is possible and is ok
katatina001: me too..
katatina001: i've been getting online for the past few days
ready to talk to you..but you were never online..then today
you were and i wasn't really ready..do you know what i mean?
JLea16: i know what you mean
JLea16: "i got something to say you know but nothing comes"
katatina001: yea
katatina001: there's still stuff i want to say..but i'm not
sure what it is..i still feel like there's more to say..i
don't know..nevermind
JLea16: nono not nevermind
katatina001: i don't know..i just feel like there's more say
but i know really know i feel..
JLea16: hmm...its all kinda jumbled, or you just forgot?
JLea16: feel....?
katatina001: it's like i want to say that we should all get
together..but in don't know how it would go or if it's too
soon or what..i don't know
katatina001: i mean i want to..but maybe not yet..
JLea16: i was thinking something similar
JLea16: but yeah...i dont know
katatina001: we could maybe do something casual..like we
could go get something to eat or something and see how it
goes from there
katatina001: i don't know
JLea16: maybe
katatina001: we should probably just take it slow and talk
more or something..like on the phone first
katatina001: this feels so hard..and i shouldn't..should it?
JLea16: talking more is good..i dont know personally thats
what i feel is best
katatina001: that's what i'm thinking, too.
JLea16: no it shouldnt...but it will get easier and if it
doesnt then well theres the answer.
katatina001: i guess you're right
JLea16: i girl can hope right?
katatina001: yea..exactly!
katatina001: this all feels so surreal..i never thought this
would happen..but i'm really glad it did..really.
JLea16: :-)
JLea16: so true
katatina001: well..i'm gonna let you go..jeb and bob and
danielle are back..jeb says bye, too.
JLea16: ok talk to you guys later