reznor

dismal life
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2001-12-31 02:05:50 (UTC)

no happiness

today was a mess. i have no one to turn to.

the only person i love and spend all my time with doesn't
even care about me...my mother says i shouldn't be wasting
my time. "ur still young so you shouldn't be worrying about
that stuff, all you need is a good education and a good
job" grrrrrrrrr

i love MiKeY so much. everyone tells me to get over it but
how can i? he means so much to me. we have so much in
common. i remember the first time i hung out with him and
he wanted me to kiss him so bad...i kissed him once and we
couldn't stop kissing each other the whole night. he's can
be so sweet to me but then other times it's just like BLAH!
am i doing something wrong? i think i drove him away trying
to make him feel the same way i do...i always fuck things
up. i think i'm just going to give up on love point period.

my reflection, dirty mirror there's no connection to myself
i'm your lover, i'm your zero i'm the face in your dreams
of glass so save your prayers for when you're really gonna
need 'em throw out your cares and fly wanna go for a ride?
she's the one for me she's all i really need cause she's
the one for me emptiness is loneliness, and loneliness is
cleanliness and cleanliness is godliness, and god is empty
just like me intoxicated with the madness, i'm in love with
my sadness bullshit fakers, enchanted kingdoms the fashion
victims chew their charcoal teeth i never let on, that i
was on a sinking ship i never let on that i was down you
blame yourself, for what you can't ignore you blame
yourself for wanting more she's the one for me she's all i
really need she's the one for me she's my one and only
-smashing pumpkins-

i feel like a fucking zero right now

i wish i could get over this like MikeY is. he doesn't
care. he doesn't seem to care about anything. not me not
anything! god i wish he could feel my pain.

FUCK OFF!

=Grace=


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