Jena's Rants
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2001-12-30 03:51:07 (UTC)

Shopping for a mental illeness.

Well my mixed moods are catching up with me, so instead of
ignoring them I got a book at the library today on Bipolar
Disorder, which I supposedly have. Now I am not a doctor
or anything, but last time I check I had been me a hell of
a lot longer than any shrink has. So I am really engrossed
in this book and I discover that I actually fit the
characteristic of a cyclothemic personality much more than
I do a Bipolar Level II individual who also happens to
experience bouts of psychosis. Now I really have a
sprinkle of all of those things, but I really fit the
cyclothemic thing the most. So, I don't know what that
means until I chat with my therapist on the fourth. I
really would prefer not to go on meds, but it may be
necessary. I guess I would prefer that rather than pissing
off every person who cares about me. I seem to have left
quite a string of failed everythings due to my lack of
stick-to-tiveness. Not to mention my self doubt, fear of
being hurt, and my all time favorite The Rotten Self Image
and Guilt problem. I am such a catch!!! So all you moms
and dads with rich well adjusted sons, have 'em email me.
I'll give myself two weeks to fuck them up as bad as me.
Just kidding, I'm not in that business of misery loves
company any longer. I'm on to bigger and brigher things,
just wish I would have remembered my shades.