Visions Of Life
2001-12-29 21:57:48 (UTC)

New Addictions, Relationships And Other Daily Bullshit...

Okay.. My new addiction is my new website, Twilight
Shadows.. lol

anyways.. lol.. I have ALL of my lil writings on here plus
a weird autobiographical thing.. I spend hours a day
working on this thing.. Usually at work.. lol.. I am such a
perfectionist.. I keep changing little details then I need
to go and change 150 pages.. lol.. but we all have our
addictions.. lol

*You Know You Have Issues When Your Nightmares Involve A
Photo Being Put In The Wrong Section Of Your Website*

*laughs* I am sooo serious to.. lol

Anyways.. On To Relationships.. Yay! *gets out the

Being single is quite weird.. lol.. I feel like such a
slut.. Its strange.. I kinda want to date again but I know
that the next guy/girl I date is gonna get their heart
broken by me and I dont want that.. I hate hurting people..
and so i have my lil dilemma.. Be A Slut.. Or Be A
Girlfriend.. Hmmm.. How About.. Neither One.. Too many guys
in my life.. 2 many potential lovers/boyfriends/whatever..
I even have one I really really really really really really
like.. Its annoying.. Does anyone know of a high quality
lesbian cult? *laughs* Its tragic.. I think I am nuts..
When I am alone I whine about being alone and having no one
sexually interested in me.. When I am in a relationship I
whine about wanting freedom.. When I have a small herd of
admirers, i whine about having too many potential lovers..
Aaaaah! I have some serious issues.. I just cant be
satisfied.. I think I just need to find me some gothic
hottie, elope in Vegas and have a cool gothic wedding(i can
send ya the link of the chapel Im interested in if ya want and have a gothic baby or two.. Live like in
Seattle or Alaska Or Europe and live morbidly ever after..

Thats not alot to ask, is it? *laughs* I have lost my
mind.. ah well..

How do guys do it? Just sleep around and all of that? I
cant do it.. I feel guilty.. Its hard to explain.. Its hard
looking for that dark soul to spend eternity with when yer
playing with every guys tool of darkness... *falls out of
the chair laughing like a damn stoned chia pet* Damn..
Thats Amusing! Makes me sound bad.. Im not that bad.. just
feels like it lately.. Ive been good in the last week or
two.. it was just that first week of being single.. damn
damn damn.. I think I have been good cuz I found a guy I
really like.. and feel weird being with others.. hmmm...
now I am rambling.. I think I contradict myself in a way..
I dont know what I want.. But I know in the end I will have
my gothic hottie, my gothic wedding and my gothic baby..
But the question is when.. At least I know I want that.. as
for relationships now.. fuck em.. Maybe Ill just stick to
workin on my webpage and sacraficing virgins.. lol.. (We all
know that I am not truly serious...I need to be close to
others or I will go crazy..)

I wonder if anyone reads this shit? If so, sorry for
rambling.. visit my new webpage, sign the guestbook and
leave me some sort of feedback message so I know that
people read this..

I guess thats it for now.. May be back later..