The Life of Kana
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2001-12-29 18:15:09 (UTC)


Alright, this is it.
After this Im signing off. Im tired of people tyring to
make me cry. Matt. . . someone. . alright, someone who used
to mean alot to me. I broke his heart, and alot of other
stuff Im not going into because it will only make me more
sad than I already am. Just Imed me and yelled at me for
not seeing him on christmas day. . Like i said, i was home
for christmas. . spending time with my family. Well. . he
kinda asked me if i would stop by to see him. .and then he
said nevermind that he didnt want me to. . . I wanted to. .
but I took that as. a. . ya know. . him telling me not to?
I was afraid hed get mad at me if i showed up. So. .I
didnt. . I just sat there thinking . . alot. . . about all
sorts of shit. . feeling really sad.
Amy. . my cousin didnt make it any better. She just
turned 18 and is especting to give birth to her son in
like. . oh a week. This was the first time I saw her
pregnant. . it was shocking. . and she knows Matt. . . she
knew him long before I did. . and Im afraid that she might
be jealous. .or something . because Matt and I were. .
kinda involved a while back. . . shes been distant to me
about it ever sense. . BUT ANYWAY. .
Today Matt IMs me. . schewing me out because i didnt call
him or see ihm or anything. All he veer does is yell at
me. . he makes me feel so worthless. . yet at the same time
tries to tell me hes still in love with me. .and UGH. Im
not making any sense what so ever. So Im just gonna go lay
down and shut up. My stomach is aching again. Its been
doing that alot lately. And it hurts. I nearly threw up
this morning. . but anyway, im gonna go.
i feel way too depressed to do anything now.

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